Sunday, March 3, 2013

Laziness, Faith, Music, Movies and Bloody Murder.

Hej på er alla!

(The above text is written in Swedish, and would translate to: "Hello to all of you!")

So... Here we are again... sigh...

I haven't made an entry in my blog for almost an entire week! Would you look at that.

There are many reasons as to why that is.

One of them is that I have instead of writing in this blog, been writing on by book, and since both mostly occur during nighttime, the one often has to make way for the other. However, that might not be true tonight. I'm planning on writing in my book for just a little while this night also, so let's see if I end up going through with my carefully planned courses of actions.

Tonight, I am tired... Not like I want to sleep, but in my heart. well, technically in a specific part of my brain.

I don't mean that in the sense that I would be depressed, but more like I lack motivation and feel like there's too much wrong with this world.

But do not fret! I know the reasons behind why I feel this way, and the reasons truly mirror my pitiful existence...

The first reason has it's base * in that I am truly lazy. In some senses, one of the laziest humans that you'll ever meet. Luckily, I am lazy when it comes to doing different things than most people are, so I still posess the capability of functioning like a normal human beeing (almost).

I've for as long as I have known felt like I have too little time for doing what I want to do. I realize, that I am not the only one who feels that way, but I do think the sensation is a lot closer to me than it is most people.

I constantly find my self in this one and same loop, in within I have too much time to waste, but still far too little to do what I really want.

What I mean with this is for instace: I have a book which I wish to read, but for the moment I don't have enough time. Still I have one hour with which I for the moment can't do much. I cannot read a book which I'll afterwards be forced to take a brake in due to lack of time, but I can't find anything else to do with that hour (I should use it for sleeping, but I almost never succeed in doing so).

Of course, nowadays I'm saved from that thing happening. I fill those holes in my time with the internet, writing things like this blog, or playing the piano (and friends [yes, I do have those]). The piano also steals 45 minutes to 5 hours (mostly between 1 and 3 hours) of my day everyday, so that is also a reason for my lack of time, and if you count in the "necessary" computer use, half of it is already gone *2.

Speaking of loops, I watched Groundhog Day, today. (A very good movie).

It turnes out that that is the movie behind a certain very famous concept, which also revolvs around time.

* Back to my laziness.

As i mentioned in my previous post, I have been enjoying my Winter Holidays... HAVE BEEN!

Tonight is basically Sunday (the night between Saturday and Sunday), and tomorrow it's back to school.
This means that I have one measly day of freedom left. *2 And as I said, My usual things that I do already consume half of my day, and now this institution will once again rob me of the second half...

It's not that I hate everything about school. I love meeting my friends there, as it is almost impossible to get me to leave my house otherwise. I also realize the importance of some lessons (not all though). I even enjoy certain subjects.

But it's not only that. Like stealing half of my day wasn't enough, the school also wants to deprive me of my free time, with things like homework and having to practise for tests...

Thus, I'm stuck with not getting to do what I want with my lazy-ass subsistence...

And think that I'll eventually be forced to choose a profession, get the job done and take responsibility for most of my actions...

Oh how I wish that I was rich... (What? Stop blaming me for beeing greedy!).

I could just live home, create and play music, write my book, learn how to cook amazing food, read books, do all of the things I never had the time to do.

I ask you this: Why couldn't a God just make sure that every single existing person could be happy in such a way... Thus, I am an agnostic, leaning with a ridiculously hard majority on the atheist side.

It just sounded like I gave up on theism because of god not making me rich didn't it?

Well, let me ensure you, that is NOT the main reason.
I mean, just look at this world! Look around you. All the misery, everything that could be so much better. Just look at North Korea!

If God exists, he owes me and everyone else a miracle explanation for the state of the world.

No, I don't think I'll be writing on my book tonight; this is taking too long, and I'm not done ranting yet!

Riddle me this: "If Adam and Eve gained knowledge of what was good and what was evil by eating the apple which God forbade them to eat, how could they have known that eating the apple was bad in the first place?"

Of course, I don't believe in Adam and Eve in the first place. I merely cannot understand how some people fail to see all the hypocrisy in "The Holy Book".

still, I do not hate Christianity. There are far worse religions.

I realize that sounded needlessly harsh.
I have many christian friends, and they are all very nice people. I just don't agree on their belief.

At least most christians nowadays pretend that everything in the bible is good and full of morals, skipping the parts about stoning people and things as such, where as some other religions are what I would call: Flagrantly Evil.

I imagine that people of such faiths are less hypocritical though. They just don't care about everyones equal rights. There are of course many exceptions, and I'm speaking from somewhat of a position of ignorance.


Sorry if i'm making you feel down.

Another reason, both for the fact that I havn't been writing for a while, and for the fact that I myself am feeling incomplete, is because I just read all the remaining chapters of the famous manga; Naruto.

Previously I had been reading the paperback comic books that had been translated into my main language, Swedish. But I recently noticed that the God damned company that translated them appears to have stopped doing so.

This is not the first time this has happened. They earlier gave up translating XXX-Holic, and quite some time ago the refrained from continuing to translate Conan, the detective. They also had some issues with the translators, so the translation has it's problems with speed also (how long it takes for the mangas to get translated).

So... Since the Swedish translation was after the original manga with about 30 pockets, I had aroud 285 unread chapters waiting for me to read them online.

All in all I spent more than 25 hours reading them (possibly more than 30 hours).

I was stuck, doing little else than reading on from day to day. And there it ends. Day to day. No more. 2 days. Plus half a day. So 2,5 days.

I read Naruto for approximately 10 hours each of the first two days, and then I read the rest the next day. But since I had woken up late that day, I didn't finish reading until evening, a couple of days ago.

How does this contribute to me feeling slightly blue?

Have you ever watched a tv-series to its utter end? Do you know the feeling you get afterwards?

You just can't really fill that hole for quite some time, at least this is the case for me.

Luckily, Naruto is not completed yet. It's just that I have to wait a week for every chapter to come, again, just like i do with Fairy Tail. (It's not supposed to be "Tale").

I should take a pause and wait with reading until I have like 10 chapters unread, but I won't. I know I won't.

I have to admit that Naruto exceeded my expectations though. I didn't think it could continue to hold it's degree of quality, but at least for me it did.

It seemes like many Japanese people know just what to do to arouse your feelings and make you really care for the characters, and also make it feel like you're there with them, experiencing what they have to go through.

Also they seem to have good humor.

It's just like George R.R. Martin said in A Dance With Dragons. 

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.”

Would you look at all this that I have written tonight?

Still I feel like I could write thousandfolds of times more. I just have to stop at some point.

I've written so much and gotten so much off track that I've probably missed writing some things I was supposed to write about, and left some loose ends.

Still, i have a few more things to add.

As you might know, every now and then I post some of my music, or my "art" on this blog.

I have made one "okay at best" composition this week, but I'm at my dad's house right now, and it's recorded on my electric piano in my mom's apartment.

Besides, something weird happened to the file I recorded, and for a split second in the middle of the song, the instrument momentarily shifts to another one. Weird...

Even though I said I probably wouldn't, I made one ( this time, probably x 2) final change to the very best (in my opinion) of my compositions; Winterscape.

I didn't add anything, but I lowered my favorite part (of about half a minute) an entire octave, to give it a more powerful feel.

If you feel disappointed now that you didn't get to listen to any of my hastily made compositions, I'll give you a couple of recommendations (Movie-wise and music-wise)

I re-watched another movie today (two days ago I saw Sinbad [which also contains good music] again ).

I saw Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, featuring Alan Rickman (also known as the actor who plays Severus Snape), Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman, Seon Connery (for like 1 minute of a movie that is two and a half hours long), and Christian Slater (who is known for True Romance, along with other films).

Both Sinbad and Robin Hood are examples of how IMDB scores don't always give deserved credit to films.

Anyway, listen to this epic "Main Theme" from Robin Hood: Overture.

It reminds me of this amazing composition for some reson: ???Mystery??? (I recommend the movie as well.) (Yet another of IMDB's black lambs).

*Edit: The mystery is probably solved! Look at this Disney ad! Listen to the music closely, and you'll notice it's the same Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves soundtrack! Now granted, no Treasure Planet clip was featured in the promo ad, but the association to disney remains. And I could swear that I've seen a disney ad (possibly a Swedish or Finnish one too!) that has featured both that music and clips from Treasure Planet :3*

When I searched for Music to listen to while writing I found some cool songs, each one hour in length.

Merlin's Magic: Flowing Perfection (The least good of the three, in my opinion).

If you wish you can also check out the Spirit of, series of music.

I'll link one of them below:

Holy shit I've written much tonight. That's it. No more writing for me now. Not on this blog, not in my book...


That's about it for tonight's entry. I'll end it by posting a poem/lyric that I made. (It's not finished yet).

The story is as follows.

Bill and Mitch are cops. Bill is now in his 50s. The woman mentioned, is some kind of a criminal, with which Bill has had a relationship that didn't end well.

However, the woman for one reason or another ensured Mitch's death, and his last words was a wish for Bill to avenge him.

So he did...

Bloody Murder

My name’s Bill, and he is Mitch
He told me I should burn that witch
So I fucking killed the bitch
And ditched her body into a ditch

I shot her face
With holy grace
Then I had to race
I couldn’t leave a single trace

Now, she is dead
I remember how she bled
There was a bullet in her head
It was made of solid lead

My life was hanging on a thread
When I her remains to the wild animals fed
Now I’m lying in my bed
Not a single tear I shed

Now here I lie
I watched her die
I didn’t get to say goodbye
Not that I would even try

Now she is gone
She didn’t have the time to run
Thanks to my most faithful gun
It was actually kind of fun

When I got her, she told me I should her release
I didn’t hold that same belief
And to her it was certainly not a relief

Actually I was a cop
That she never forgot
But she thought my age had made my skills rot
And look at where that her got!

She thought I had been through too much
To get a chance to her even touch
But since I actually did her clutch
I would say that things weren’t as such

Ever since they rolled the dice
The outcome was not set to be nice
The moment I first saw her eyes
I should have known she was full of lies

To be continued?

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