Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Aftermath


Oh my, could it be? Yet again, we're here at the end of another year. A very interesting year in many ways, I must say, especially since more than a third of it was spent away from home on my part. Now, I'm finally back, and I have a kickass vacation to look forward to! Actually, I've already enjoyed myself to quite an extent, by procrastinating more than I should (for example, by waiting almost two weeks before writing this entry), even with simple tasks. Oh procrastination, how I love you. I hope I'll never be forced to leave you again; you lazy, do nothing, wonderful you.

What am I back from? The horror that is far darker than hell, which is the Finnish army. Now, you may think that's an unfair comparison. Then again, I couldn't possibly hate a place I don't even believe in nearly as much as the place I've had to take part in, against any will of mine.
Actually, I'm not even interested in talking about the military in Finland anymore at all. I've grown pretty weary of talking about my time spent in the army; all that remains is to put the experience behind me, and get on with my real life. Now, I say real life, because I consider my civil life a completely different thing. Much more... How would you say? Civilized, if you will.

All that matters is that now I'm back in business. The recovery was not as slow as I expected, mostly due to all the stress revolving around Christmas. This brings me to my next subject, actually. Would you look at that segway. Maybe I ought to become a writer after all? I'm kidding of course... Let's go on...

Oh Christmas. This was probably one of the best ones I've experienced in my entire life, if not the best. Anyway. I was in quite a hurry to buy all the gifts this year, not to speak of wrapping them up (God that takes time...). Either way, I managed to get everything done in time, which was a relief.
All the celebrations were a blast (although I regretfully had to take on the role as Santa Claus this year. I was lucky and managed to fool the kids [my cousins] to such an extent that they didn't recognize me at all. One of them even began crying, which I take as a token of success. Yup).
I didn't wish for too many presents this year around, but the ones I wished for, I got. Or at least, I wish that is what I could say XD
I got my extremely expensive headphones and the rare original soundtrack for a game that I wanted. The third thing I wished for though, I sadly didn't receive. Who could've thought it'd be that difficult to get your hands on a decent pair of leather gloves?
Naturally, I'm joking again. I would never wish for leather gloves. OR WOULD I?
Why yes I did, but I'm not actually mad. I'm very grateful for the gifts I got; the greatest of them all simply being to get my life back.




Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnyyyyyyyhooooooooooooooooowww.anyhow.com/



As I said, Christmas was fun, but I'm not going to go into deeper detail. I just want to share with you a present which I prepared for a friend of mine. Behold:

















Now, observe that picture. If you look closely, you'll notice the 10€ that are inside of the small plastic box which is filled with odd Christmas-y pearls. Now, on to the next step...

















A honeydew, with the insides carved out, in the shape of a small plastic box wich could probably fit some Chrismass-y pearls and perhaps even a 10€ bill inside it. Mysterious... The adventure continues!




























What's this? Straws that are cut into tiny pieces and forced into that honeylicious melon? Could it possibly have been done with the intent of reattaching the separated parts?




























Why yes, yes it could have. And for those weak of eye or observation, there is written a mysterious text upon the honeydew, consisting of six letters, two words altogether. What on earth could "GOD JUL" mean? Nobody will ever know...























And there we have it, wrapped up in parchment paper and plastic bags, in order to prevent bugs, rot and smell. How nice.
This has been a tutorial on how to waste time and money on creating horribly ludicrous gifts for no real reason at all.

Walking around the city and leaving presents outside of my friends' doors late in the evening was pretty fun though. Especially that part including ringing on the doorbells and running away. Fun times, fun times...


Anyhow, what did you do this Christmas?

What's that? The five movies? Why of course they are all worthwhile watching! What kind of question is that even?


Apart from all the celebrating, slacking around and having dinners with relatives, I actually managed to get one thing done. I redid my Christmas piece and uploaded it onto Newgrounds (spoiler alert). I'm thinking about making this into an annual thing. Maybe next year, I'll have lyrics for the song!!!

Anywho... Here it is; Enjoy:


Christmas Memories







Now then. At this point you've already probably realized that I have not spell checked this entry. Nice.
Let's continue not doing that!!!



New year is coming up. In like one and a half day. Cool.
Usually, one would reflect at the year that has passed, and make some resolutions for the coming year or something.
I'm gonna give myself some free space though. I do NOT wish to look back at the later half of this year, and I don't want to make myself feel obligated to do something; afterall; I'm on vacation, long as it might be. Who knows, maybe I'll try getting some small job or something. But, as I said, no obligations.

I have a lot of personal projects I want to begin/continue working on, and I think I'll start with that. I want to write music, write in this blog, write on my book, make a game or two, watch a lot of animé, other series as well as movies, read, play the piano some more (maybe even improve my sheet music reading skills), spend time with friends and relatives, spend hours upon hours just mindlessly wandering through the internet, take up dreaming more, as well as play video games. A lot of stuff to do, and that's just some of it. Rest assured, I won't get bored, even without a  job. In fact, I'm certain a job would bore me more.

I actually had some interesting subjects in mind regarding this blog. However, let's leave that to the year that is to come, no?

I hope you've had a great year, a great Christmas, and I wish the next year will be even better.

So....





See ya'll bitches next year ;)


//LucidShadowDreamer, 2014 and OUT.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Preparing For War!



I'm finally at the point at where my service in the Finnish army is almost over. Alas, there is an "almost"...

There is one final trial before I am free, and that would be the Final War. It's like a stupid game they have... I can't go into detail, but let's just say that I have to endure the horror of spending about 10 cold, wet and sleepless nights in the woods...

This will probably be the worst time of my life (except for extreme headaches; there are few things worse... They don't last for 11 days though -_-).

After this camp, we'll not really do anything anymore, although there'll still be two weeks left. Today I've got 25 days left, which is of course 25 too many.

Oh well... I'd say that in some aspects, I'm quite well... Prepared.



















Yeah....



I don't really have anything else to write about in this blog post. I'm sure the next entry will be much more optimistic, as it will be written in the holy civil life ;)


As for other news....
I've uploaded a few songs to Newgrounds since last time.
An example would be the composition/improvisation I made/played inspired by the music from Nolan's latest movie: Interstellar.



That's all for now though.

Now I'll continue feeling sorry for myself for a while before stepping on the bus and proceeding with the same activity...

Sunday, October 26, 2014

If You Have Three Apples, and Take Away Two... How Many Do You Have Left?



So... Yet another waypoint has been reached.

Now I only have less than one third of my service in the Finnish military left. However, it is like to be the toughest time period of them all. A long march lies a head of me (literally, which at some point includes the crossing of ice cold water while carrying all the equipment), an endless amount of freezing nights in the woods, and endless waiting for it all to end.
You know something is wrong when you're counting the days you have left, not the ones that have passed. Well, not always. If we look forward to something, we tend to keep more track of the time. Take Christmas calendars for example.

However... I'm counting the days I have left until I get rid of something, which is completely different, and the agony seems to increase with every day tat passes :/

On the other hand, I'm getting more used to the conditions I'm living in, and since we're doing practically the same stuff day in and day out, the time seems to be running fast, though the days are slow. As there are not many specific occurances to remember, all days seem to blend in with each other as one long nightmare. It's a bit like the autopilot; you don't remember every single time you've walked to school; the way is almost always the same, and once you've walked it a hundred times, you can't tell the times apart. Even while you're walking you don't really pay attention to the road at all. Myabe you'll suddenly notice that you've walked for ten minutes, without ever realizing where the time went. That's because of the autopilot.
I really hope my autopilot will take over most of my long march for me...

Speaking of school... Ever had any one ask you: "How was your day in school?"
Well, you've most probably answered something along the lines of "good", or "just like all the other days in school; it's always a day in school". There's not always that much to separate the days...
Same goes for the army. When I get home for an occasional vacation, people tend to ask: "How was your week in the army?"

I get that people ask that; it's really just human psychology to do so, as you don't always have much else to say. Well, I can tell you that my replies are pretty boring too. "It was just like all the other weeks in the army, maybe a tad worse".
It's a bit tiring not having much else to talk abaout (or blog about, ofr that matter), than the army. Even when I'm home, people call me the soldier every now and then, and most everything seems to revolve around me being away doing service. Tiring indeed...
That's why I'm counting down the days, waiting for it all to end. I'm walking around pretty much in zombie-mode all the time at the moment, at least when I'm not home. There's not much in the very near future to look forward to, and you've got too much work to do to think about anything at all really. My memory has in several ways gotten worse, the latest 100 days or so, actually.

I'm waiting to return back to my life as it used to be, before I was drafted. I think I'll be able to return to pretty much the exact same place as before, both physically and mentally. I don't feel like I've developed that much in the army at all. We learn not many useful skills, I can assure you. Unless it's considered useful lying awake in a hole in the ground for several hours during the middle of the night, almost every night.


It'll be great to get back after it's all done, and I have a several months long vacation waiting for me too!!

Ayhow... I'll just have to push through the final bit now,
Wish me luck!
I'm sure that I'll need it.



Almost forgot!
Here's a piece I made sometime in 2012, although the recording is from tonight.
I'll post the Cover Art just for fun as well :)













































That should be all for now. Let's see if I will have enough energy to return to this blog next month. My next blog should by all rights be the last blog I write while still in the army, so I sure look forward to writing it ;)


Have a good one, or two (or three) :p

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Halfway There


Hello people!

I am happy to announce that I've now completed more than half of my service (exactly half, actually), which is a great milestone. There are still 82 days left however, and I suspect they will be full of experiences that'll break me...

I have no time to waste on writing blogs in the very limited spare days I get, but I wrote a poem about my experiences in the military that you can read if you so wish :/
It's more like lyrics actually, and I even wrote a melody for it. Naturally I, with my horrible singing, would never upload such a version, so you're stuck with the text. It's unusually good text for being written by me though ;)




The Kindergarten for Young Adults


First you come from a place
where you may keep your face
and your thoughts are your own
'cause you're not just a clone

Then it's taken from you
to be thrown in the loo
all you know starts anew
but you hope you'll pull through

While you gain many friends
you might just lose yourself
you're just one of the pack
as you walk the same track

Rarely is something so behind
it's as if everyone is blind
values are so different
while people are indifferent
They gather from all around
wherever from they might be found
they learn some useless discipline
and nothing's to be feminine

Everyting has to be the same
you're always the one to blame
wait to hurry and hurry to wait
there's punishment if you are late

We're all scared of the same foe
that's why we must play this show
no matter what is your role
with it you'll just have to roll

Though sometimes you may be broken
some people find weird pride in it
just to bear some meaningless token
miles you walk trying to keep up your spirit

Rarely is something so behind
it's as if everyone is blind
values are so different 
while people are indifferent
They gather from all around
wherever from they might be found
they learn some useless discipline
and nothing's to be feminine

Though some people sure are nice
it's hard to say if it's worth the price
freedom sure costs quite a lot
why give it up to stay and rot?

When you don't get any sleep,
barely anything to eat
you may almost feel like crying
although nobody is dying

They say that it is optional
no need to get emotional
you had your choice now stick with it
there's no real use, so why quit?

Rarely is something so behind
it's as if everyone is blind
values are so different
while people are indifferent
They gather from all around
wherever from they might be found
they learn some useless discipline
and nothing's to be feminine

It's a place that's full of fools
there are even more dumb rules
You wish you could just lie and wait
not have to bear so much weight

To survive is the main endeavour
luckily it's not forever
if you do your best and try
eventually you'll say "goodbye!"

Yet I can't wait for it all to be over
to be able to take a real shower
washing all that dirt away
never will I ever stay.




There's so much more I could write if I wanted to, but a song has to end somewhere, has it not?

That's all for now. If you'd wish to listen to music I've made, you should be able to find some here.
Like the very first composition I've ever made, for example :p



Have a good time, you few readers, as I'm sure I won't have one! :'D

Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Army Sucks


I don't really know.

I'm not going to write more than a few lines of text. I'm just happy that I've finally completed 1/3 of my time in the Finnish army. There are many people that like their experiences there, but I don't belong to them :/
I'm really just waiting for my time there to be over. I've been sick most of the time, and now that I'm not, my back is hurting instead -_- I barely even have any free time, and my motivation to do stuff is lower than ever. Sheez...

Anyhow. This weekend was "villavslutning", which is when most Finns with a summer cabin go spend some time there, before colder times take over our land. It was great to be able to relax and forget the army for a while, by shooting rockets, spending time in the sauna and having fun in general. In about half an hour though, I'm going back to the bus which will take me down to southern Finland again :(

I don't have much more to say than: have fun :) You'll probably be having more fun than me even while doing boring stuff. It's really as they say... "You don't miss your cow until it's dead."
As humans though, I'm sure I'll go back to thinking my homework is boring and unworth my while when I've returned from the army :p

I don't dare speak too much about the army online, as that's probably not a good idea in general. It's just not anything for me, and it really shouldn't be obligatory. Yeah...


Here's a picture I made as cover art for this short 16 second loop.






























That's all for now.
Cya whenever I gather some energy to write again.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Lack of Motivation



This will be a very short entry, more like a note.

As I've been conscripted (which sucks, imo), I've noticed that I simply don't feel I can muster up the time nor the motivation to write good posts in this blog for a while ahead. I will take quite a lengthy break from writing here (it's not like I've been that active lately anyway, but at least I've written something every now and then). To give you an example of how lazy this lack of time and motivation makes me, I'll link you to this entry by OneSketchist.

What he has written is pretty accurate even for me, as we're in a most similar situation. I, however, am pretty certain that I'll pick up writing in this blog again whenever I've finished my time in service. As we have so limited free time, I want to spend it on other things than writing down my thoughts. I could always write about how I feel about the army, but trust me; the last thing I want to think about when I'm back home with some free time, is about the military life. Hence, I want to wish you few of my readers a good time while I'm gone and away.

I won't be missing entirely though, as I still keep myself relatively active on Newgrounds.

I've among other things uploaded a new song there, which you can listen to if you wish to do so.

Misguided Passion



Anyway, I shall leave you with that for now.

Until later, that's it for me!

Monday, June 30, 2014

The Far Too Near Future


Alright, it's finally time to write something.
Don't expect too much, as my time is very limited. For once, I think I'll manage to keep my post relatively short :/

Initially, I was supposed to write about two dreams I've had recently. I was lucid in both, and had a fair amount of control too. However, I feel no motivation at all to write about such things right now, so I'll save that for later.

The thing is, I am 19 years old, I am a male, and I live in Finland. What does this mean? Why would there be anything special about these three factors?
Well, as much as I like living in Finland, there are a few drawbacks. One of them, the one that will affect my near future quite a lot, is the fact that Finland has yet to rid of conscription...

That's right. After only a few days, it will be time for me to get drafted; join the army -_-

Luckily, we're not fighting any wars at the moment, nor have we for a while, nor plan to do so in the near future (as if we could win against any country that's even slightly likely to attack us).

Still, here we are. During the past year, give some months, I've written more than 50 blog entries. I never expected to get so hooked on it. I haven't written much in my book as of late (at all), but I'm glad I've been writing something. My English has surely improved as a result of writing this much. Writing the blog posts has also resulted in me getting opportunities to collect my thoughts like this, and write them down. Yet, for some reason, I've been much more lazy about writing the posts the eintire year of 2014. Mostly, it's probably because I've been so active on Newgrounds.

I don't intend to stop writing entirely, but there's a good chance that I'll be writing even more seldom the coming half year. One never knows though! On avarage, it seems as though we'll get about 3/4 of the weekends off, which means a long busride (altrenatively: train [I also tend to get motion sick = not fun]) home from southern Finland all the way to Vasa, only to get back after barely a couple of days. Still, I'll probably do stuff those weekends, and might even feel the need to blog about my experiences of the military training.

I don't look forward to the early awakenings (not to speak of the early bedtimes! I am a night owl!!!), the fact that you don't get to think for yourself (at least that means you don't have to think much at all |:), as well as many other things, like the food. I've heard that more money is spent per person on the army food than in the schools though, which I suspect may well be true.

My hair has already been cut as a preparation. I have no pictures to share of that though, and I'm too lazy to take one now.

I think that the thing that will bother me the most, is that I'll have little to none access to a piano. There might be one ore two laying around (in locked rooms), which you won't be allowed to play except if there's something special going on. I don't want people to notice me playing too much either; they might put expectations on me. I do NOT wish to join the army band (whatever the music groupish stuff there is called).
I guess I'll have to play at home during the weekends...

If I'm in luck, I'll be placed with someone I know in the army. I plan on being as invisible as possible, albeit my personality makes that difficult to achieve... Why do I wish not to be seen? I don't want much to be expected of me, as I said. I plan to stay in the army for the shortest period of time possible. I got diagnosed with a pretty queer sort of asthma too, so I might just succeed with my plan (as I'd be ranked as not as important or something, if everything goes well)... Even if I could, I don't even want to achieve the top scores in the Cooper test they'll organize for you. It would mean a few days of extra leave time, but I'm sure there's quite some cons too, unless you want the top army dudes to love you and want to keep you XD

Well, I might get to meet new people, which is fine I guess. I am somewhat of an introvert, but I can be social at times if I feel like it.
I should be able to get in an okay shape after all the training as well, which is a positive thing. Shooting stuff might be fun too. I really wish we get to have paintball wars (which I doubt).

The pamphlet, as my friend said, really wants to advertise the army as some kind of super fun summer camp for kids. I don't think many people buy it though, nor do I. It's a bit weird how Finland still seems to be quite patriotic at times :/
I've heard tell that there's supposed to be at least one sauna, pretty much everywhere, which is also a good thing, assuming it's true. I'm acually going to a place where people speak Swedish and not Finnish, but I think that it wouldn't matter all that much in the end :/

There have actually been some reddit "ask me anythings" about foreigners who've completed service in the Finnish military, which can be a pretty interesting read.

I do not yet know which company (as in military unit) I'll be thrown into. I had some alternatives, but you never know for sure where they'll put you. I guess that remains to be seen...

As the internet addict I am, I wonder how I'll manage? I did buy a new phone yesterday, so I should be able to something at least, although not as much as I could do with my computer.


Well, Now I'm somewhat bored of this subject. Monday is the day of my departure, and it will also be the day I'll stop being so active online or easy to reach in general. The first two months (the recruit period) seems to be the toughest one to face. After that, things might ease down a little...
Either way, that's really it for now.




In other news, I've had quite the busy schedule lately. I actually was on a trip to Sweden recenty, with a few friends. It was pretty fun, and we did a lot of stuff.
I'm sure you're not interested though, so I'll move on.

I'm actually supposed to write 6 short tracks (simple loops of about 30 seconds) tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow, and only that day. I don't have time any other day, so that will have to be when I make the songs. I think I'll manage if I work half the night... Wish me luck!


Speaking of songs, here's a new piano composition that I've... Composed... (Click the picture).



























There's something about combining red and black that's really appealing to me. Black suits a lot of colors, in my humble opinion. Making virtual cd cover art is really the only art - as in drawings/paintings - that I've created lately. Maybe I should aim to change that?
I wish I had more time for reading too :/

I don't know whether I've been accepted into the school I'm trying to enter either. "Peffan" is not known for being quick...

Anyhow, I don't have much more to say in this blog post. This is really just an update of what's going to happen to me in the near future.


Saturday, May 31, 2014

Life



It has always been one of the weirdest concepts of all, for me to grasp. It is the very reason for anything to matter. Without it, everything would be nothing, to the extent that it might as well not exist at all. It's like asking the age old question "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Well, duh.

But as a concept it is interesting. The soundwaves will still be there, so it will obviously make a sound. But it won't matter (ignore The Butterfly Effect for now). If no one is around to hear it, it wouldn't make a difference whether the fall of the tree resulted in a noise or not.

It's the same way with the universe. If there is no one around to observe it, it loses all its meaning. It's just there. In principle, I guess that my statement is slightly false. The fact that no one is there to take part of it, doesn't mean that it isn't there. There is one thing that a universe without any life could do that would still matter. For all we know, it could still produce life.

In a way, a universe without any life could thus still bring meaning to itself by giving birth to the very definition of meaning itself; life.
I think you get my point.

To add to that, our perception of the world is very limited. There are a multitude of things that humans can not see, as this video might demonstrate quite well. Those things are still there though, and they affect us very much. We usually can't see radiation. but it's definitely there. Same goes for a lot of other things.

But even all that would be meaningless without life. Those things might still be there whether we were alive or not, but even if we can't see them, we can be aware of them. They affect us as well, which gives them meaning. They do something, and we can notice that something. Isn't that what meaning is all about? It's about something happening, and someone/something noticing it, and possibly even doing something about it!

Life is a struggle for sure. The very meaning of life might be itself; to live. In order to continue living, life reproduces and creates new life. This circle keeps on going, but there's something missing. It's often said that one of the things that makes life so special, is that it doesn't last forever. There's the opposite of life, which is death. The relationship between life and death is one of the most common themes in different art forms (paintings, movies, literature, music, etc.). I guess that the idea has fascinated our species for a long time. I actually have a friend who happens to have drawn a painting around the theme (you can check it out here).

Death is perceived as dark and negative by most, as it takes life. I guess is makes sense to see death as dark. Just as darkness is actually lack of light, death is lack of life. That said, there are those who are longing for death, awaiting it with open arms. Life is very fragile; very easy to just... Take away. It's an interesting curve. You start out the most fragile, after which you grow stronger. When enough time has passed, you begin getting weaker again, until you ultimately wither into nothingness.

The funny thing is that even at your strongest point, you could lose your life in the blink of an eye. It's SO easy to throw away for nothing. Still, I'm quite astonished by the fact that so many people get to live for so long. Our bodily defensive systems that protect us from diseases and other injuries are most impressive. Still, accidents do happen. Sometimes we take risks, and often they are far too big, and not worth it. Humans are pretty much programmed to take big risks for big rewards, instead of small ones for small rewards (which ironically, is the most rewarding in the end, in most situations). We humans tend to think that we're never going to be "that guy". Which guy? The one that dies from doing something stupid. We sometimes take big risks in order to have some fun. Maybe we jump from a rock to another over some water, ignoring the fact that we could slip and break our necks. Because we're not going to be that guy or that girl right?

Well, if you're reading this, it seems that you've been right thus far, but will you always be? 
Life is very fragile, which is why you should be careful with it.

This is coming from a guy who has done a lot of crazy shit, which could easlily have killed me. This was especially true when I was younger. I guess I kind of had this stupid braveness. I wonder if I'm not alone on this? I get the feeling that many people used to do stupid, dangerous things when they were younger. Maybe it's just part of a learning curve. Of course, I still jump from rocks. Maybe the difference is just that I nowadays am aware of the potential consequences, but that I choose to ignore them? I'd like to think that I'm more careful than I used to be, but maybe that is just an illusion. You need to do something to get a thrill right? People like being in flow. What is life if you don't live it? On an individual level, life might be meaningless if you're always careful and never do anything new, but as a species, we strive for survival. It's not good to always be scared of everything either. This also keeps you from learning, and new discoveries can be crucial for the development of our species. Life is contradictive this way. You want to stay alive, but you also want to learn something. I guess that some risks are simply worth taking. Marie Curie and a few other people had their lives shortened by a lot, because they discovered and studied radiation. Was it worth it? Maybe, maybe not. For them specifically, it is a personal feeling, but what about our race?

On one hand, the discovery has given science a great boost forward. On the other, there have been a lot of disasters related to radiation. Was it worth it for the people that have died? I think that life has to be separated into induvidual cases, and as a whole. Personally, I'm pretty convinced that some lunatic will simply blow this earth to samll pieces one day, maybe not so far away in the future. While our life can bring a lot of good things, it can bring a lot of bad too. What makes human lives so special is the intelligence we have (although I wish some people would have more and use it better...). This is also what makes us so dangerous. We can learn and develop faster than anything, and we may bring forth flourishment or destruction alike.

I'm fairly convinced that humans are more and more becoming a disease to our planet. I'm still glad that we exist though. As I said in the very beginning, the world would be utterly meaningless if no one was there to observe it. That someone is US; you and me. We posess the intelligence needed to understand and comprehend a fair deal of our surroundings, which is perhaps the most important thing of all. Awareness.

We can make of that what we want, bacause that is what we have been given; our life.

Which is exactly why I am writing a post such as this right now. I have very recently walked up another imporant step in the stairs that are my life. 

We spend our entire lives learning, but in our culture, we are specifically meant to learn in our early life, in daycare and after that, school. The thing is, I graduated a couple of days ago. Until now, most things have been set out for me. Technically, I could choose whether I wanted to study at the Gymnasium or not, but for me, it was never much of a choice, but more of a certainty.

Now, I have completed my studies there. I'm not fully satisfied with how I performed in my Matriculation Exams (which I mostly blame on the people that graded the exams, bacause trust me, they seem to suck. Pretty much all my tests were returned to me with lower scores and ultimate grades than they were sent in. This wouldn't be a problem normally, but I don't really feel like explaining the entire system of grading they have. It's mostly unfair though, and should, in my opinion [as well as many other's] change in the future. Just trust me; the test graders are no good). I've decided to leave my grades be as they are though.

That tangent aside, I have reached a new point in my life. I need to choose where I want to go. I have many hobbies, and I'd love to work with examplewise music. Shame is, it can be difficult to get a good job which involves what you love. You also don't want to turn that which you like into something you see through a negative lens; see as work... I have decided to keep music as a hobby for now, as I don't really like the alternatives that exist in my country, when it comes to music. I will try to be accepted into a university, and study pedagogy. If the wind doesn't blow the way I want to, I can always try something else next year. Life might be fragile, but it's not necessarily short, depending on your perception of it.

In about a months time from now, I'll be drafted into the army, which is NOT a choice, so I still have some time to contemplate upon my life, and where I want it to go. I have been trying to get in shape, in time for the drafting, but progress is slow. Oh well...

I have been procrastinating a lot lately too. I have too many projects going on :(
Thinking about all the things I don't have time to do makes me feel a bit... Grimm D:


That said, I've done a few things. I'll soon start making a simple new game for the Construct 2 Game Jam over at Newgrounds.

I actually made and finished the game I spoke about in my last post, and you can play it by clicking the picture.




















I have also made some music.

I made one of the shortest relaxing loops ever: Unimaailma

Along with a short slightly circus-styled song: Vappu


Those are only some of the things I've made, and I'm working on several other music related projects as well. Hopefully, I'll succeed in making them. One of them is actually a collaboration with an amazingly talented musician.






That is all I have for now I think.



Life is weird, but let's hope it goes on in the right direction.


Have a good life ;)


Saturday, April 26, 2014

Ghosts Are Real...



...Except they aren't.

WARNING:
It's past 5:00 am when I begin to write this, which is far later than usual, so be prepared for anything...


So I've been hanging around the forums on Newgrounds for quite some time lately. Recently, I came across this thread. Now, I don't know whether it was a troll who was the OP (original poster, for those of you who were thinking "over powered" or "one piece") or not. It doesn't matter though. Many of you won't check out the link, but basically there's a guy who believes in ghosts, and claims to have been possessed by one. I made some replies on the forum, giving an explanation for what probably really happened to mr. OP, but I figured I might just write about the phenomenon of believing in Ghosts here too.

I know it was a long time since I made my previous post, but I have some excuses. Among other things, I've been on a slalom skiing trip to Vuokatti. I've also been playing SpeedRunners for unhealthy amounts of time. I also spent some time on reading "The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck", while listening to one of the only graphic novel soundtracks in existence (link will probably not work forever; copyright laws), on a CD I bought on the release date.
Mostly though, I've procrastinated. I did however partake in a music competition, and posted a compostition, inspired by an awesome artpiece.
I didn't even come close to winning though, but it was fun :D
(Album of 15 best entries: Bandcamp or YouTube, where all the amazing art is shown too).

Apart from that, I've made yet another infinite song.

Whew :/ Now that that's out of the way, we can return to ghosts.


So I did some research, and it seems as though a LOT of people believe in the existence of the paranormal.

Why do so many people believe that some of the dead still stick around on this little speck of the universe? Well, there are probably many reasons.

Some people simply believe it since they have heard convincing stories. People have always been fascinated by the very things that scare them. As I discussed in my previous post, many enjoy the thrill they get from being scared. There are seemingly endless amounts of horror movies out there, and more is coming all the time. From the moment we're born, we've heard ghost stories, read some books, seen movies. Seeing as it's such a huge part of our culture, it's no wonder that the question "are ghosts for real?" pop up in our heads every now and then.

However, one would think that the vast majority of adults would arrive at the answer "no" in a matter of milliseconds. That doesn't seem to be the case though. Some people are simply FULLY convinced that the souls of the dead walk among the living, which to me, is an absurd thought.

As cool as the theory is, I strongly believe that it's not true. I'm not saying I know with 100% certainty that there couldn't possibly exist such a thing as ghosts, but I've almost never seen anything that would indicate otherwise.
I think that many just enjoy the thought so much (knowingly or not) that they kinda wish ghosts were actually a real thing. Since no one alive knows what dying, or the potential afterlife feel like, it makes sense to want to want to discuss the topic with others. Some people also would want to think that dead relatives or beloved ones are still around them.


Those are all pretty normal people. Different religious beliefs also tend to make folks more susceptible to the possibility of ghosts existing. But these are people who've had no convincing experiences, which eliminate all doubts of the reality of the paranormal. There are even "scientists" that claim that these kinds of things are real, and even some relevant studies have been conducted!



What I want to take some time to discuss, are the extreme believers. There are people that are fully convinced they've had encounters with beings of darkness. I don't doubt that they've seen what they've seen, that they've heard what they've heard, and that they've felt what they've felt. I'll now tell you the funniest thing about this all!

Almost every single kind of these stories occur either when the person affected is lying in bed, under the influence of something, or has just experienced a lot of stress or sleep deprivation. Coincidence?

Quite obviously, not. Why alcohol or other drugs might make you hallucinate (including vision and/or other senses), is no mystery.

What's up with those other things though? Well, I'd say stress is pretty self explanatory too. Did you know that stress is probably the single most common trigger for mental diseases? Stress is responsible for a lot of other malice too. A lot of stress or sleep deprivation can cause you to hallucinate. And often, negative feelings don't result in happy hallucinations...

But even stripped from everything else, the fact of lying in bed is probably the most usual causer of naturally occurring hallucinations! Hallucinations are actually FAR MORE COMMON THAN YOU THINK. In fact - by definition - you've probably hallucinated this very day without realizing it. You've probably experienced pretty "strong" hallucinations sometime during your life too. You don't need to be sick in anyway at all in order to hallucinate.
Have you ever searched for you keys, in the location you thought you put them, but couldn't find them, only for it to later turn out that they were there the entire time after all!? Well, that is actually a naturally occurring "negative" hallucination (as opposed to "positive"), since you couldn't see the keys that were actually there. This phenomenon is actually not even caused by the blind spot in your eye (you're probably not one-eyed either...), but rather from your brain locking out the very thing it's trying to locate. Actually, every hallucination is both positive and negative, as you'd have to see what was under/behind the keys in order not to see the keys.

This is a pretty non-extreme example, but hopefully you got the point. I know I mentioned this in one of my posts about hypnosis too (which is actually a real thing [scientifically proven several, several times], although seemingly more scepticism is directed towards it than at the existence of ghosts o.O).

Anywho... Back to bed.

I've mentioned this before too, but most "paranormal" phenomena occur while people are about to fall asleep (hypnagocic), or are about to wake up (hypnopompic).
Often upon these two things happening, one may experience sleep paralysis. Basically, you're paralyzed when you're sleeping, to prevent you from acting upon your dreams (sleep walkers tend to have an issue with this). However, if the paralysis happens when you are semi-awake, you might experience the scariest events of your life. Your brain isn't functioning normally, and at the same time, your body might try to explain why you can't move (or otherwise bug you with odd sounds or scary figures)! A lot has already been written about this topic, which you'll see if you check out the link I added in the beginning of this paragraph.
Another similar phenomenon is night terror - pavor nocturnus.
Speaking of sleep paralysis, I once mentioned a blog post written by someone that had experienced it. Well, that same blogger has recently made another post, discussing a completely different subject.

So as you can imagine, not all people are educated in this area of psychology, which causes them to draw other conclusions when they see the shadowy figures surrounding their bed and/or laying on top of them. Many people hallucinate about wild animals or just about anything scary you could imagine, but the strange thing is that a huge lot of the people see "the shadow people". Don't believe any of the scary stories based around them though, as they are but projections of the mind. If you're interested, you can actually play a good flash game that's based around them! There's a sequel too, but if you're interested I'm sure you'll manage to find it yourself.


So basically, all the people who have seen ghosts have either misinterpreted something, or hallucinated, or simply have false memories. Heard about them? Basically, every time your brain remembers something, the synapses in the same part of the brain where the memory is stored start working again, which will affect the memory every time. It's fully possible to use inception, this way (the planting of a false idea I mean, not through dreams). There are people who are fully convinced they've seen dinosaurs, without necessarily being "crazy".
You don't actually see the world the way it actually is, but only the way your brain interprets it. Makes you wonder what's real and what's not, doesn't it? Think about it. Ever had some old memories, you've remembered so many times that you're not really sure exactly what happened anymore? The order of events may be mixed up, and some memories can be just plain false. Don't lie too much either! If you do that, it's actually not impossible to start believing some of your own lies XD
Seriously though, I'm not joking... It is. It's scary, isn't it? Not being able to differentiate between reality and fiction.

Back to hallucinations. Don't underestimate how realistic they can feel. All the emotions you feel while hallucinating will only make them feel as real as reality, or maybe even more real?




Anyhow, the entire point of this post is that ghosts most likely do not exist. Photos and videos claiming to have captured them are simply fake or something explainable as well, and have always been. What do you think? Are ghosts for real?

Please, I'd love to hear any scary stories that you have from your personal life! They don't have to be scary either, just relating to the subject. Feel free to comment away ;)








IN OTHER NEWS. Ludum Dare 29 had its start exactly 2 hours and 20 minutes ago. I'm entering this time around. There are two different competitions; make a game yourself, from scartch, in 48 hours + some other restrictions (compo). The other one: 72 hours, teams allowed, not necessarily entirely from scratch, and so on (jam).


The theme that was just released is "Beneath the Surface". The game has to relate to the theme somehow. Seeing as one doesn't get much time, the games become pretty minimalistic. I have this simple idea already which I will expand upon after some sleep (personally, I'm joining the jam).
Here's a two minute skiss:


Basically, the mechanics will be similar to that of the SHIFT games.
Probably, one will be able to alternate between the white and the black ball, if I manage to figure out how to "program" this with Stencyl. You'll move to the side, and have to complete puzzles that become more and more difficult. Also, there might be some dialogue, some music made by me, and such.
This is far from the most original idea, but what do you think? Should I do something else? Please be quick in replying, as time's running out...


Well, since the clock is soon determined to show 6:30, I ought to get some shut-eye.
Have fun...

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Inspired By Fear?



Have you ever been afraid?




If your answer is no, you're either a liar, or know nothing of this world. I'm sure that all of us have experienced fear some time; if not much, then at least a little bit. What is fear, to begin with? It's just a simple human defence mechanism, not much more. But if you're afraid, struck by terror, there's not much else you can think about. It's one of the strongest feelings there is, and it often tops anger, hunger, sometimes even love (although not always, especially not in stories). Granted, love doesn't really count as a feeling, but it's comparable.

The reason that fear is so special, is that it's similar to a reflex, in a way. It's your body's reaction to danger, and often activates the fight-or-flight response, which concentrates the blood flow to areas you're soon likely to need - your arms and legs, and the brain as well.
Not always though... To some people, fear can be immobilizing, which is pretty much the opposite. This is probably a defence mechanism too. Many animals suddenly freeze, because it makes them difficult to spot. Others simply play dead. With humans, being afraid may cause your enemy to deem you not worth killing. Then again... Others enjoy it.
Yes, you're right... I've been reading "A Song of Ice and Fire" again... Which is also the reason I didn't write anything yesterday night, when I meant to.

Anyhow, back to being afraid. When I was little, I used to be scared of the dark. I'm sure that many of us were, but I think that I got rid of the fear much later than most did. I still don't feel completely at ease at some very specific locations (like the cellar in one abandoned house, owned by the parents of one of my friends). I'm not afraid in the same way anymore, though. I used to have some difficulty controlling my fantasies. If I began imagining something scary in the darkness, I could not stop myself from making it even worse. Maybe part of me enjoyed scaring itself more and more; I don't know. What I know is, this doesn't happen anymore.

I know it's a bit cheesy, but it's true without the shadow of a doubt that humans tend to be afraid of the unknown. That's one of the main reasons for phenomena such as racism and homophobia. Phobia actually means fear. But that might also be why many fear the afterlife, and have even made up places like heaven and hell. Superstition in general always has strong bonds to fear. Fear is a great motivator. You can use fear, to get as you want; to control others.

Superstition is also a reason as to why the dark can be scary to some people. Sometimes it's logical; the human eye is not as great as one would like. An enemy can easily hide in the shadows. People often avoid alleyways when the sun is down, because they also want to avoid potential robbers or other "weird" people.
But if you're at home, safe in your bed, is it really logical not to want to turn of the lamp when you go to bed? I think not.

Fear doesn't have to be rational. All of the stories, movies and games with monsters of some kind don't make it that much easier. Still, being afraid can be... fun?

The very reason that horror stories exist, is that they are entertaining. Alike many other things, fear is something that people can share, together. In a weird way, watching a scary movie with your friends can give you a sense of togetherness, and also, it can help you overcome you fears. Most things don't seem as scary when you're together with other people you trust; the more the merrier. This all makes sense from a biological standpoint too. A group of people can meet a greater foe than one man alone, so it's only natural that being 'round others evokes a sense of calm.

Then again, some people like scary stuff when they're alone as well. You might play creepy games with jumpscares, even if you're all by yourself. In fact, as the conclusion we just arrived to suggests, it's all the more scary when you're alone, with no one to turn to if fear takes over. Why? Just for the thrill of it.
As I mentioned earlier, fear is seen in the physical reaction of your body. At the same time, hormones such as adrenaline are released into your system, and I dare say quite many enjoy the feeling, although sometimes without realizing it.

Why do you think you enjoy rides on roller coasters? The reason is the same as when you enjoy fear. Part of it may have to do with overcoming the fear, which can give a feeling of gratifictaion, or even self-actualization.

As a summary, while fear can save you from danger, or be your greatest enemy, it may also be a source of fun and be a great motivator.


Now, let's return back to me.
I said I used to be scared of the dark. Well, it wasn't necessarily the darkness itself that bothered me. Acutally, if everything was truly pitch black, I had no problem with it, as far as I can remember. But when I kept my eyes open, and saw just a little bit... That was when things could get scary.
If your vision is limited, the brain sometimes wants to invent things of its own. And since fear - as I said in the beginning - takes over pretty much all your thoughts, the brain naturally invents scary stuff instead of what's actually there. Your chair with the clothes on can suddenly become whatever scares you the most, and even if you close your eyes afterwards, your brain might just keep on thinking about creepy things. I could talk about why clowns and dolls and such scare the shit out of some people, but I think Vsauce already did a pretty good job of that.

I'm not really scared anymore though, as I said. Why is that? Well, part of the reason is probably that I simply grew up. But still, there are adults that have irrational fears that are far worse than anything I ever had. Don't quote me on this, but I'm pretty sure that you're not as scared of superstition when the logical parts of your brain are active. I'm not saying that I'm constantly living a life of pure logic nowadays, as that would be dull as fuck. What I'm trying to get at is that when you get rid of the belief in the supernatural, your fear of the supernatural might subside in your list of concerns.
Personally, I'm an atheist. There is not necessarily much wrong with all sorts of religious, or should I say, superstitious beliefs (although something's quite clearly wrong with others...), but they can result in irrational thinking when it comes to some subjects. The older I've grown, the more certain I've become that nothing supernatural really exists (well to begin with, if anything happen in this world, it becomes natural by default due to the pure definition of the word). This includes anything from multiple eyed monsters to any invisible ruler in the sky. After all, if God exists, would not demons too?

Anyhow... Another reason as to why I'm not so easily scared at this day and age is that my father has, as I'd like to say, already scared my fear away. Not as of late, but when I was a kid and during some of my early teens, he used to scare the crap out of me every now and then. And for each time he did so, the effects wore off slightly; I got used to it. Some people do so quickly, for others it takes a long time to adapt, but alike many other things, it's possible to gain some immunity from fear. Naturally, there are several kinds of fears, and in order to not be affected by any of them at all, you need to feel less than a psychopath. That is hardly obtainable, at least for the living.


Well now, why did I write about such an odd topic today (night* sigh...)?
I actually realized that I actually enjoy darkness most of the time. Like really, I prefer dark over light. I'm not emo, goth, or any other of those labels, but some of my "style" can seem similar.
Black is most likely my favorite color (I mean, just look at the theme of this blog, not to speak of the name of the blog). I like really "dark" music, if it's well pulled of. Even the very few serious pieces of art I make seem to revolve around dark themes.. Most of my online usernames involve the word shadow, and that is only some of the things I mean. I like the concept of darkness in gerenal, is what I'm trying to say. Why do I do so? I might just like how mysterious the darkness; the unknown, can be. Acutally... I don't really know why I like the theme; I guess I simply do.

So basically, I'd say that darkness has inspired me quite a lot in the end. It has shaped me, so to say. All this, even if I initially was afraid of it. Hmm...

As I said in my previous post, I even made a game. The game is pretty dark too, as one might expect. The main reason I mention this, is  simply because I actually won 4th place in the competition the game entered! And about 100$ (minus taxes) as well :p
Check out the other winners too!! Especially the game in the #1 spot baffled me...





Speaking of darkness, I've picked up a pretty weird habit lately. In one of the houses I live in, there's a storage path that connects the stairwells (the house is a highrise). This path is mostly underground, and there are no real windows. So sometimes, I take the path, but I leave the lights off. It's actually pretty fun to walk that way. At first, it was difficult even to walk straight, let alone succeed in not touching the walls and get a good sense of distance. But for every time I took the path, I got better at it. I haven't taken it in a while now, but I'm sure I could still pull it off quite well.
However, one time I -for no specific reason, as far as I'm concerned- decided to simply sit down and wait for a while in the complete and utter darkness. And actually, I quite enjoyed it! There was nothing to disturb me. No sound (except when someone flushed a toilet...), no vision, no nothing, really. I ended up sitting there alone in the darkness for quite a while, maybe up to half an hour or so (luckily no one came there, it was already pretty late... If someone had come, the situation might have been a bit awkward to explain. I would've probably just gone to the exit on the opposite side before I was spotted).
Anyhow, the experience was one of the most relaxing ones I can remember. It felt pretty much like some sort of meditation. It also made me see my thoughts much clearer, as one might imagine. With no other sensory input, my thoughts were pretty much all I had. There's actually a psychological experiment that is closely related to what I did, but a tad more extreme 1, 2, 3. :p
As I sat there in the darkness, I also noticed that I wasn't in the least bit afraid. Quite the opposite, I'd assert.

If you're the least bit as weird as me, I recommend you try out something similar sometime! It just might be worth your time...

That wasn't the end of my experiences with total darkness though...

Somewhat recently I read a post on 9gag about someone that liked to shower in the dark, aka without any lights, and the post had many likes. I figured I might as well try it out. Guess what? I enjoyed it :)

This is something I absolutely recommend for all of you. You don't need to be as extreme as me and turn off all the lights in a bathroom without windows, but try using as little light as you dare. Just make sure not to hurt yourself; I'll take no blame.

In the same way, showering in utter darkness is most relaxing. No real vision (although, during daytime your eyes will adapt to the small amount of light that enters through the interstice below the door), combined with the soothing sound of the water from the shower, not to speak of the warmth. Seriously, why would you NOT try it out XD?

And there's no need to worry about being odd for doing it; a lot of people have at least tried it/are doing it. More people than one might think. At least according to a survey, but oh well.


What's the moral of this entry? Clearly, it's that darkness is cool and you should accept it into your heart :'3


Also, here's an entirely normal picture of me.



















Now, for the advertisements :'D


Firstly, I made a playlist out of all the songs I've uploaded to Newgrounds! I even included the bad "joke songs". So if you're ever in need of background music, just check that link out ;) (Also, if you do it, you get to see a picture of me cosplaying as James, from Pokémon).

Also... Some time ago I made a simple piece for the piano, which I didn't really like all that much, but other people seemed to really enjoy it... So if you want to, you can go check it out for yourself ;)


Even more importantly, my favorite blogger is back in action!!!
And he seems to be quite active as well. In the span of one week, he has already written three good posts, so go check him out ;) (No need to worry, his entries are not as long and confusing as mine are).

OneSketchist even painted an elephant man, so why would you not check him out?




Well, I think that's pretty much all for now :/
As usually, I've created a monster of text. So why not make it even longer, and end it all with a weird "poem" I wrote some nights ago, for no apparent reason. It's very similar to my previous poem, which I wrote some months ago. Enjoy! (If it's humanly possible...).





Poem on Poems

Once again, here I am
I don't know why I write these poems
Maybe it's just because I can
Or maybe there simply is no reason

From boredom my writing just might arise
Not necessarily from any real problems
Not any inner thoughts in disguise
My psyche is far away from treason

It seems as though I lack the flow
I seem unable to make this glow
with the light of meaning or humor
Maybe I'm just causing a tumor

I don't look at my poems highly
Thay lack any sort of deeper depth
I guess I write them far too dryly
In this area I'm quite inept

I'm better off with writing music
At least that shouldn't make you sick
Reading this might just do that though
Or maybe not; I don't know

I always seem to write late at night
The mood is always more sincere
My inspiration is seldom light
Which is something that should be clear

This will be the final verse
Which I don't think will make you fierce
Alas, as a poet I won't get employment
I still hope I brought you some kind of enjoyment



Now... Back to reading "A Clash of Kings"...


Monday, March 31, 2014

D-Pression


Now, some of you probably thought this was going to be a blog post about depression. While I might make a post about that topic sometime, now it's time for a lighter note.

I will try to be more active on this blog as well, at least during the summer time!

I will only make this post short, as an advertisement for myself, but after a couple of weeks, I'll finally have a lot of free time on my hands!

So... Back to what this blog entry is about?

I made a game!

I know nothing about programming, but I used a program made for people like me who still would like to develop flash games (for beginners, basically).

It's my first game ever (apart from a few small projects I did when I tried out Game Maker about 5 years ago, or more). Even so, I think it has done quite well for itself! I entered the game as my submission for a contest on a website, called Newgrounds.

The game was actually frontpaged, so I've received a bout 4000 views already, which is pretty huge for a small dude like me.

If you'd like to, you can play the game by clicking this picture:



The game, as one might guess, is supposed to be pretty athmospherical; I wanted to build up a certain mood.

If I had to place it in a genre, i'd say it is a pshychological platform/puzzle game.
Even if it's not your type of game, I'd appreciate if you tried it out!


I made everything for the game myself: The music, the "programming", the "art/animations", the level design, the sound effects; even the font!
So now I have a font... Yay.

As many of you will know, I'm definitely not an artist, and I also had to rush this project immensly, in order to actually reach the deadline :p
My matriculation exams came in between, which is a bummer.


I'm actually doing quite okay in the contest. Based on user ratings, my game has consistently stayed among the top 10 submissions, out of 120 contestants. So although I probably won't win one of the three classic pedestals (gold, silver, bronze), I'm pretty happy about my "success"

If you want to check out some of the other games, you can go to this page.



That's pretty much it for this post. I've been pretty active on Newgrounds these past months, so if you want to know what has been happening lately, you can check out my profile/news posts over here.


I've also been doing some stuff with music, like a spoof on the "happy birthday" song, for example.

You can check out my projects here.


EDIT: I actually won a fourth place prize in the contest! Read more about it here! :'D


Anyhow...

Thanks for your attention ;)

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Anodder Shorrt Uppdaitt


Hiya!


As ya'll'we been noticing I haven't been blogging much lately.

Apart from laziness, the lack of motivation has it's deepest and truest roots in the fact that I feel too busy. If I really wanted to, I could write blogs much more often. However, I feel like using the limited free time that I have on doing something else, to be honest. After I'm done working my job, and my matriculation exams are over, I hope that I will yet again find inspiration to write more. Then again, a couple of months after that I will be thrown into the amry. Yay. (Maybe I'll finally get into good shape?).


I will try not to turn this into yet another post where I complain only about my lack of time, so if that is what you came here for, read this instead: "Time, Art Thou My Friend or Foe?"





So.... What's up?

Lately, if we try to ignore school and other similar stuff, what have I been doing/thinking? Nothing much in particular, I'd say. I've been doing a little this, a little that, thought some brilliant thoughts you could never have mustered in your brian (yes brian, not brain) yourself, because I'm just sooooo expectacular. Not even my mom calls me special D':


I guess that being called "special", doesn't have to mean that you're special in a good way. Words tend to have a darker side to them. Or a lighter one... If it's already dark... You get the point -_-





You know what would be really cool? To be able to sing really well. Unfortunately, I can't, which sucks. I am too self-conscious to practice much either. I'd have to train extremely much to become even remotely good. Besides; I have this weird, slight lisp, or whatever you want to call it that kind of runs in the family. You can hear it especially well when I try speaking English. I'm planning on training that away, but once again I am a victim of my own laziness.






Enough of that, you don't care. You probably won't care about this either, but I've got some songs to show ya!

For Christmas I got a new computer, like I promised I would get, some entries ago. I also have a new music editing program, which I am quite fond of (Cubase AI 6).

These two I have combined togehter, to make something worth listening to (maybe...)! I am still no professional, and I have no experience of audio editing. But I've tried, and I hope I will learn.
As I said, I don't really have time to make music either, but what can you do if you're addicted?


I will hereby present the first out of three songs. This one is the only serious one, and I actually tried to make it sound at least somewhat okay. I still don't have any grip when it comes to drums, so I will have to practice that at some point...

The songs are available at yourlisten.com as well, but since I've begun using newgrounds, which in most cases is a bit more "uploader friendly", I'll only post the links to them. Also, the descriptions seem to be unlimited! (Which you must understand suits me fine... Just fine...).

Here is the first one:


Forest Walk



I know you never do, but if you for some reason feel like it, leave a comment saying what you think ;)



Before 'Forest Walk' I also made two very short songs, experimenting with what the hell I could do and such. They are good for the ones of you with shorter attention spans.


Walking With The Shadows

&

Distant Thoughts















That's pretty much all for this time around.

Have fun :p