Friday, June 7, 2013
I don't intend to define friendship in this post, as most of you hopefully already have a somewhat clear idea of what it is. Otherwise wikipedia had a surprisingly okay analysis of it.
I rarely find writing an entry as challenging as I do right now, but I'll try to make sense...
To me, the concept of friendship in general can be both among the most easy things in the universe to comprehend, but at the same time one of the most difficult things to understand fully, at least on a deeper level.
When I look back, I realize that when I was but a very small child, I didn't really have many friends (we're talking like 0-2 years old). I had my sister, my parents, my grandparents and relatives, as well as a few actual "friends", mostly the children of my parents' friends.
But since I at the time was so young, there isn't much at all that I remember from the time. And as far as I know, I wasn't unhappy because of my lack of real friends. I hadn't yet developed a need for actual friendships. After all, a "friend" is just a label, a term used for one kind of a social contact. Just like a parent, a brother, a cousin or even a lover, but a little different. At the time I wasn't in any way searching for just that kind of a relationship between me and anyone.
However, as I grew older, going through different stages of my life, I eventually made some friends. One of the first places where I really began to grasp what a friend is, was at daycare (kindergarten).
A friend was someone to do activities with, play with, perhaps share a toy with; bond with. And for some reason, that kind of a social connection felt good, it was a welcome new part of my life. One could already at this age notice that there are different types of friends, and that people differ from eachoter in various ways.
I naturally had some friends that I knew better than others, and eventually I for the first time began inviting friends to my home, at least the ones I knew best. This was a whole new thing for me, and it might have been for many of you. What I know is that the people whose homes I occasionally visited, are among my best friends to this day still. That new thing of actually being with eachother even after daycare is over often indicates something special and much more lasting.
All that, was of course long ago now. I've made and lost quite a few friends during all the past years. That, or the level of friendship has changed between me and some people, but that's besides the point.
At least I have noticed that I perceive friends and friendship in a completely different way than I did when I was much younger. It seems that the older I get, the more complicated the concept of friendship becomes, but I'm not sure that I can really explain what I mean.
If nothing else, the way that I view the world has matured and changed quite a bit from when I was merely a child. I have begun seeing things where I saw nothing before, finding new puzzle-pieces to something that I already thought was compleated. As my perspective has changed, so has the way I view friendship.
Why do people wan't friends in the first place? Some people don't have friends, some people don't even want friends, or so they claim. I for one could never manage without knowing that whenever I fall down there'll be someone there for me, someone to make sure I don't simply have to try enjoying The Company of Myself.
Friends can both cause harm, but also heal your wounds. When your friend is hurt, so is a little part of you. Social connections are necessary for the species' survival.
That is also a huge part of what groups of frieds are. Social connections.
I myself have through my life "belonged" to many groups. That could be a sports team, your class, a band or simply a group of friends.
I have for a long time now felt quite at ease with moving from a group to another (I don't mean like switching ideology, but litterally walking from one group of friends to another, only to soon switch groups again or return to the initial one). However, I know some people that are always sitting with the one and same party, people who seldom try talking with anyone except for the "members" of that particular fellowship.
I don't know how many of you ever think along these lines, but sometimes I find it intriguing the way it often seems like the people in these groups often have different social statuses and/or roles. The whole thing works quite similarly to the way things often work in a pack of wolves, except possibly in slightly more complicated ways, and sometimes who belongs to what role can be difficult to see clearly. Some people even seem to differ between roles. Of course, I might be over-analysing things. Do not get me wrong. I don't usually go around thinking about all these things. My main objective every day is usually to have as much fun as possible (with some boundaries) and possibly to do something productive, like writing in my not so often read blog for example.
Still, every now and then these thoughts pop up in my head, and I'm entirely sure that I'm not the only one. Things become interesting when people from two different "packs" of friends come together. One with the "highest social status" (damn these designations sound awkward) in one group can often be the one with the lowest in another. Mixing people from different groups together often results in something amusing, and what it also often results in... Is new friends.
It would be fun to write about some of the different types of friends there are, but I won't bore you with that, since I'm sure you already have a somewhat clear understanding of that already. And writing about that would take enormous amounts of space and time. After all, every relationship is different from another.
Yet, the reason for which I'm writing about all these things is because yet another major change in life is closing in on the people of my age group.
Ever since I was seven years, I've constantly been going to this one wierd place called "school". But to me, the education has only been half of what school is for. To a very large extent, I've simply enjoyed the company of others. In a way, it can be a bit strange to comprehend that several hundred people are in a building such as a school at the same time.
Whether you want to or not, you're practically forced to spend lots of time with other people during huge amounts of time almost every day. A huge part of my friends have been made because of this. I wouldn't have had all too much social contact in my life unless I would have been forced to, which I actually think is a good thing, for most people at least, not to point a finger at introverts. I can relate to that as well.
Anyway, after a year, it will be summer again. The difference to this summer is that I will by then (hopefully) have completed my matriculation exam, as will most other people my age have.
After that, life will once again take another turn around. Some things will be like normal, but other things will change entirely.
One thing that bothers me some, is that friends will yet again change a bit. Some people will move abroad, some will work in other towns, some will continue to study. Only the friends you know the best will remain mostly the same.
Of course, there's still conscription in my country, and since most of my (male) friends from school are going to the same place, there's still some time before I'll have to begin focusing on what I want to do with my life and what I want to achieve, but adulthood creeps closer every second, and I'm not sure I fully like it, since I'm so happy right now.
Studies show that as people grow older they develop less friendhips, as they have to focus time and energy into work and family. At work they develop more acquaintances than friends, and there is often more rivalry involved. Luckily, the internet exists, so maybe coming generations can eventually make a change to this.
Again, I have succeeded in writing a monster with an almost intangible message. If you've read this far and you havn't really understood what I'm trying to say, do not fret, since I don't think that most people really would've. This is what happens when I don't give any thought to structure, and when I don't plan that much on beforehand; I just let the writing flow...
There is so much more I would like to say, but since I feel I couldn't get it into any comprehensible form to/day -night, I might as well leave it be, for now at least.
For almost two weaks I wasn't able to compose anything remotely good sounding. However, I randomly made a quite okay piece a couple of days ago.
It's actually supposed to be accompanied by an orchestra, but I'm currently working on that. Still, the composition isn't so good that I'll devote too much time to that either, but I'll throw something together...
I should really go buy myself a good new computer, and a good sound editing program like Logic or something. Then I might actually feel like writing and arranging some real good sounding music...
Anyhow, you can listen to the basic piano version here.
Heightened Hope (yourlisten.com)
It came out like something that could belong in a movie, were it only arranged better. This is since it describes a certain mood/mindset, or possibly many. Everyone interprets these things differently anyway...
The piece exists more for describing a feeling than it does for the melody. Still, as much movie music does, this composition resembles others to some extent.
If you don't agree with something that I have written, if you simply cannot figure out what I'm trying to say, or if you have any other feedback, feel free to comment about it. I noticed that since I created this blog you havn't been able to comment anonymously, but I've fixed that now (I think).
I hope that you all have an enjoyable summer!