Laziness, Boredom & Productivity

Hiya.



Several of my previous entries have been more or less serious and long, so for once I thought I should just chill out and write about nothing relevant in any way.


Lately I've been feeling kinda bored, for no apparent reason. I've also been extremely lazy, even unusually so. Normally, I at least get something done, but for the past week, I've practically laid in bed watching Dexter all my free time, instead of reading for my matriculation exam. Well, there's still plenty of time left until the first round, in my opinion, but it seems like almost everyone around me has already started, which makes me wonder if I'm putting too little serious effort into things like this. To be fair though, I'll at first only be writing English and Finnish, so there isn't that much for me to practice.


I'm pretty sure that I've watched at least three whole seasons of Dexter in the past seven days, to put my not-doing-anythingness into perspective. In average, the episodes are 50 minutes long, and there're 12 episodes every season. Hence, I've spent more than 30 hours just lying in my bed, watching a TV-series, seemingly without anything better to do, in the time of one week. Again, to be fair, I've got plenty of free time, since I don't have that many courses this period (ha-ha). The real reason for why I haven't done much anything, is naturally not that I'm inherently lazy, but because I've been bored, beyond usual measures.


I planned on writing about boredom already almost a week ago (ironically, I was just too lazy to get started, 'til now), but once again, Vsauce managed to do a video about boredom just before me. This is I think the third time he does a video about something I'm planning on covering, just before I get it done. Coincidence? (yes).

(Seriously, I'm not gonna write much about boredom in depth, just watch the video).


There are at least in my opinion, several types of boredom, and different levels of them. And right now, I've got one that has pretty much plagued my mind. I won't categorize various feelings of boredom, and I'm sure the differ slightly for everyone. But the one that haunts me at the moment is one that makes me want to do nothing at all; it practically kills my motivation. I don't really feel motivated to do anything. So the easiest thing to do was to watch Dexter (and some other online stuff) to occupy my mind. Luckily, I've got a master plan.

The plan is: watch all the Dexter episodes available, until you get that empty void inside; something that has filled your life for some time has now vanished (I hope that you know what I mean). Then, fill that void with something useful. Well, now I've watched all the episodes that I can.

What I'm going to do, is to begin reading the Game of Thrones book. I've been meaning to do so for a long time now, but there has always been something else in my way, if not only the barriers of my mind. Also, I think reading the book will be good practice for my matriculation test, in English (I'll of course read the book in its original language). I guess that writing in my blog qualifies as practice as well...



Anyway, I've noticed that between all the Dexter watching I've been doing some very weird stuff. I guess that tedium itself can be a motivator in its own way, even if it might remove ones motivation in other areas. I for one have been creating stuff I haven't made in a long time, and doing other stupid stuff. Among the more normal stuff, I baked something for the first time in quite a while. Also, I managed to get some new ideas for compositions on the piano. That I do usually as well, but this time I tried out several new things, thus breaking my normal composing habits. Still, I tend to try thinking differently in order to be more creative usually as well.

Yeah... But precisely one week ago, I was supposed to get a gift for one of my friends, for her birthday. Now I am probably the worst present buyer ever. Thus, what happened was that I went to the store, and I got this weird feeling of wanting to do something creative and utterly stupid (mostly in order to escape from my internal catalepsy). So what I did was I bought four random cheap objects, and mixed them together into one of the worst presents ever.
Because I can.

These are the four things that I bought. What remained was to combine them into a horrid monstrosity.


At first I made a ball...

My cat kinda likes the ball...

Jupp, there it is.

After that, I for no good reason put the ball inside of whatever this is, and sealed it all with a padlock. Because I can. And guess where the keys to the padlock are? Forever to remain inside of the ball. (I might or might not have had a spare key).

A bit of a neater form.

And done.

Believe it or not, but making all this took about four hours. You may say that's a waste of time, but naturally, I did all this while watching Dexter at the same time... So that's productivity for you. I've also done other weird stuff. For example, I did some finger knitting for the first time in many, many years; it was so long ago that it felt a bit nostalgic. I'm surprised that I remembered how to do it. When I was seven or so years old I used to get yarn from my grandmothers mother, in order to do some finger knitting. I believe that my record is knitting something closer to 20 meters in length. There are several ways to do finger knitting, but it's mostly meant for children, or people that are extremely bored. So I did this while watching Dexter as well.

I don't think it's that useful for anything really, but it's strong as a rope. I can assure you, without a tool like a scissor or a knife, you won't be able to break this thing. Not with pure strength. Unless you weigh a ton, this should even hold your weight, if you were hanging from somewhere.


But basically, I haven't really done anything that useful for some time though. But I should get to it sooner or later, I'm in no hurry. What I wish that I'd have done more of is writing on my book though, I haven't really done that during the summer either...






Well, I'll post the intro to a composition that I might make sometime as well... But be warned, it doesn't sound that good. For starters, I recorded it crappily, and I also ran into some technical difficulties, which makes the whole thing sound even worse. If I ever make this song, I'll redo the intro for sure, and remove that piano noise that doesn't suit at all (also, I recorded it with too little volume).

I recommend that you listen with headphones though. I experimented a bit with the panning on the flute sound in the beginning. This is to say that the sound will begin by only being heard by your left ear, only to then shift to your right ear, and then being heard by both ears. It's a quite funny effect, giving the illusion of depth. It could have been done better of course.


Light is Darkness Too - Intro (yourlisten.com)






I'm pretty sure that this is the first post that I've written in a morning.




Well, that would have to be all for this entry. I hope that it didn't bore you to death.

Sympathy/Empathy

It's very difficult to write when you're listening to certain kinds of music isn't it? I would know right know... But, do you know exactly what I mean, like you were in my shoes, or do you simply feel sorry for me?

Well, I know that was dumb (But it is related to the subject at hand). Most probably, you just read that as the text it was, and didn't really feel anything at all. I hate these things that only give you limited options. Which is just what EQ tests give you.

What is EQ then? Well, we're not talking about an equalizer, but what EQ stands for in this case is Empathy Quotient.

It's a very primitive grading system, trying to calculate how high your empathic skills are. To me, it's as difficult to grade as it is difficult trying to figure out if you're more happy now than you were sad the last time you didn't feel so well; It's possible to some extent, but it's not really something you can get accurate results from. Sometimes it feels like the people of today try to categorize pretty much everything, no matter how unnecessary it might be.

IQ, I can still understand to some extent, especially the origins of it, but even that is taken far too seriously. It feels a bit like people are sometimes missing the point (in general, I mean; no specific point...)


I don't really want to imagine a society, where everyone has to take an EQ test, and you're judged based on your results, making it difficult to achieve some jobs and stuff...

Okay... I'm not being that honest. Actually I'm not even interested in this EQ thing, and the tests can very well exist in my eyes. I just don't think you should take them all too seriously, as with most other survey thingies as well. I just decided to write a random introduction relating to the subject of empathy and sympathy.



There are several definitions of the words, trying to explain their differences. But many of them are in conflict, which is a bit interesting, in my opinion at least. Some people even believe that the words are synonyms. Nothing wrong with that really, if you haven't heard of them being different before, but the difference is of somewhat large importance.

Well, I'm not going to define the words exactly either, since apparently people have too different opinions of what they mean (if you try googling it). But basically, they are both feelings, felt towards another person, or why not several people, or in some cases even animals.

Let's begin with sympathy. There are several uses for that word as well. But basically, if you sympathize with someone, you recognize that there is something that isn't positive that they feel, but you can't really feel the same exact emotion yourself, or even understand all the factors to how they are feeling either. Simply put, you can feel sorry for a person, or even pity them. In most cases, sympathy would be what you feel when you see a homeless person or a beggar, lying on the ground, let's say in a marketplace. That is, you wouldn't really know what it would be like to be in their position, but you realize that they are not the happiest people around.


Then, there is empathy. It's closely related to sympathy, but isn't really the same thing. Having good empathic skills, means that you're good at feeling the same things as, or at least recognizing the feelings in a fellow being (mostly human). That is to say, you can basically feel as if you were in another person's shoes.
Empathy is what you'd often feel if someone is currently going through something that you're going trough at the same time, or have gone through earlier. Let's say that you've lost a close relative at some point in your life, and now one of your friends has done so as well. If you're somewhat similar people concerning your reactions and feelings, now's probably whey you would empathize with that person.


Those are pretty much the major differences, but one could discuss the definitions and different examples for eternity.


But as I said, levels of empathic ability cannot really be accurately measured, and I hope that I don't need to explain why, since that would take forever (my brain feels up for the task already, but I'm getting my drivers license tomorrow [hopefully], so I really should focus on getting some sleep instead).


Arrrgghhhhh!!!! I could write so much on this subject, but I don't have enough time... I might return to it later at some point. I've basically touched upon it in an earlier post once before already, when I spoke of being on the same wavelength; rapport.



(Magical jump transition, totally ignoring that side note)



But the sad thing is, no matter how empathic of a creature you are, you can never feel the exact same as some other person does, there are simply too many factors involved. There is really an infinite amount of feelings, but as I said, we humans apparently like to simplify things, by categorizing them, thus making their basics easier to see. You can say that you feel happy, and you might really feel happy as well. But you can feel happy in a BILLION (okay, that's under exaggerating it) different ways. Every feeling of emotion, is specific to your current situation in life. Granted, many feelings of happiness are inseparably similar, so close to each other that their difference is insignificant, but it's there. A bit like colors, really. There is an infinite amount of colors as well. Sure, there is a certain limitation to the amount of colors that humans can separate from one another, but even the amount of colors in the human visual spectrum is ridiculously huge.
Well, I'm not the first one to compare human emotions to colors, but the point is: No matter how good your empathic skills are, you can never feel the exact thing as someone else does. Even in your pure core, your bodies and brains are different.

Am I the only one who has wondered how it would feel like for someone else if they would feel the same pain as I do when I accidentally hurt myself? Would it hurt them as much, less, or more, depending on the person? Probably... Yes, I am the only one. And that is not even measurable. I should delete this whole paragraph, but I'll leave it here for your amusement.


What I was actually trying to say, is that it's a shame that we're stuck to our own experiences, and the way we feel. No matter how social we are, we are alone.

If you're short, you'll never really know how it feels like to be tall. You can logically think about all the factors, or compare it to other similar things (which can be a very effective method to coming close, as I'm sure you already know), and try to put yourself in a tall persons shoes. But no matter how close you come, you'll never quite be there (I can already hear some smartass thinking: "well what if that person was a kid, and he eventually grows up to become tall"... Very clever, but missing the point).

I just thought of a better example, so HA! (yes, I'm basically talking to myself via text, officially).


I'm pretty sure that most people have thought about this at least once. No matter how much you try to empathize, you can't really know how it feels like for the opposite sex to have sexual intercourse (actually, you wouldn't really know exactly what it feels like for someone of the same sex either, but you'd probably come much much closer to guessing correctly).  And yes, I know this isn't really what empathy is all about... It's about emotional feels, not physical. Still, they are also very connected.


But it's a shame that you can't see things from other peoples' eyes; you can't think like other peoples' brains do. You're stuck with yourself. You can't even (at least as far as we know as of yet) prove that my "green", is the same as your green. It would be pretty darn interesting to be another person for a day or so. Who would you like to live as, or would you be too afraid to try? There are certain things out of human grasp...


Your reality is also limited to what your senses tell you. You only know reality as you see it with your own eyes, but there's always a lot more to it. You can also calculate, and see new things using this new trendy thing called "science", which is probably the main reason as to why it's such a popular method to go around things. You don't need to guess that the Rain God must be angry when it's raining, but you can know what causes the rain instead, without any real need to experience the truth with your own senses.

But people are still skeptical, and sometimes with a right to be so, even towards "proven things". People often have difficulty to trust others to such an extent that they'd abandon logic just to believe you. Jesus must have been a mastermind at seeing the opposite get done... No but really, many want to "see it with their own eyes".


But still, your reality is bound to what your senses tell you. I'm pretty sure that platypi (platupuses) can feel some kind of an electromagnetic force. That is to say, they have a sixth sense. But what if you suddenly got a new sense? (well, technically humans already have lots more senses than five, but you get what I'm saying). Your perception of reality would probably change drastically, since you'd be able to recognize all these new things. And that's just it. Different perceptions.


It would be awesome to perceive the world as someone else. But since you can't do that, you have to turn to alternatives. The closest thing you can come to seeing things like others, is to really try understanding them. And to be able to do this, it really helps to have a good sense of empathy. Not sympathy, but empathy.

To be able to do all this, you need to discuss with other people, and often you need to be very close. It helps to have known people for a very long time. You automatically see things more like they do, since you've been in the same environment for a long time.

But even if you can have no close discussions with anyone, you could always do things like reading (why not this blog ;)? ), if you want to gain new perspectives.

What is this? Well, I felt like posting some kind of a picture today, and I was lazy. So I made this. And it correlates to the subject!

What is this, you might ask? Well, it's something completely normal, seen from a different perspective. Everything has potential to become much more interesting when seen from a new viewpoint.

Okay... You got me... I lied again. That thing about correlating to the subject was a lie (I made that up on after hand). Actually I just wanted to photograph something with the negative effect. You, who know more than me, educate me: How does that negative scale thing work, really? Is it just opposite colors in some way or what? I'm too lazy to research it (I hate it how you can't really say "jag orkar inte" in a good way in English -_-) myself right now, but I think I will do so later.



Light looks really cool when you take pictures in the same way! I like darkness so, what can I say...

And thus I have a new song title! (I just have to compose the song). "Light is Darkness Too".


Yupp... I'll try to make that song sometime... I think...











That'd be about it for now!

Have fun : D !

Taboo (and Morality)

Be prepared. This is by far my longest post so far. So I recommend that you have some time when you begin reading, and that you feel motivated to read it when you do, so you don't get that tired midway.


The title for this post might not be the one that fits it best, but it will have to do. If nothing else, it's connected to some of the things I'll be writing about. I'll begin by asking you to bear in mind that what I have to say is merely opinions, so I hope that you won't get too upset with it. I'm in no way the first person to think this way on any of these smaller topics, but they might still seem slightly controversial. I hope you'll enjoy reading, and that I'll broaden your perspective on things slightly, since that is something you can get out of hearing other peoples thoughts.


So the title for this post is taboo. Taboo can be anything from laughing at your own jokes to thinking that Hitler was a pretty good guy. Maybe that's not the best definition, but I'm sure you have a somewhat clear image of what taboo is in your mind already. Of course, what is perceived as taboo and what is not differs from group to group. It has to do with culture, society, and even smaller groups of people.


In this entry, my plan is to speak of a few things that are a little bit taboo to believe, or speak about, at least in western society. Granted, there are many exceptions, but you might still think otherwise. But whether you agree with me or not on anything, I hope that you'll leave a comment about it.



You've probably noticed that there have been certain changes in society over the years. The changes often start slowly, but they're still very observable. One of the changes is that homosexuals and the rest of the LGBTQ+ community have gained more rights in more countries. Naturally, these things go back and forth. From what I've heard, homosexuality was broadly accepted and not that uncommon in ancient Greece, only to be, well, oppressed by such things as religion. But what I'm saying is that now, partly due to the world being more connected than ever, more people's opinions and ideas are being shared. So slowly, but somewhat surely, people are becoming more and more open minded about several things.


But even if this is true, there are still plenty of things that are not so accepted by today's western society. And in many groups, it might even be taboo to speak of those things, especially if you go against the stream in your ideas and opinions. It's difficult beyond imagination to erase all the limiting scraps of religion, culture, and faulty perspectives. I'm very well aware that I can't myself either always not be a hypocrite. Everyone's vision of reality is shaded from time to time. And it can be very hard to accept certain traits in others, even if there isn't necessarily anything objectively wrong with them. That is also one of the main problems. Is there really anything... Objectively wrong?

If you're not religious, it can be hard to believe in objective morality. Of course, you still have a sense of morality, unlike what some radical fundamentalists believe, but it's probably rooted more in basic biology and culture than in anything supernatural, all powerful. That is also why I believe that different cultures have differing senses of ethics. If you've lived a certain way since your childhood, it can be difficult to make hasty changes to those ways. I'm sure you get what I mean without further explanation. Which reminds me, if anything I say is in some way unclear to you, simply ask me and I'll try to explain what I mean clearer. Sometimes I can be too focused in my own thoughts to get them through in the way they are supposed to.


So if there is only the morality of one's own mind, other people's morals, and society in general, and there comes a situation where you need to choose one of them, what do you do? Well, usually I guess that people tend to follow what they themselves think to be the right thing, but is that always a good thing? These are very hard questions to answer. These questions are also very interesting, to me and to many others, especially psychologically. Probably one of the reasons as to why the TV-series 'Dexter' is so popular. (Basic concept: A serial killer that murders only other serial killers).


Well, all that was actually a side note leading into one of my major points. Peoples' morality is a very difficult thing to affect, at least to a larger extent. One's basic beliefs are so deeply imprinted in one's mind, that it takes much effort, and often much time to change them. Ultimately, you don't really know yourself what the right thing is in all situations, and which consequences are the most preferable. Maybe there is never an objective answer. Still, it often feels like one knows exactly what is right. I mean, murder and torture is almost never right... or is it?


Biologically and socially, it's imprinted in one's mind to avoid pain, both inflicted on oneself and on most others. But I'm sure that if someone would get you angry enough, you'd like nothing more than to inflict as much of it as possible on the one that hurt you in some way, possibly even more if they hurt someone you love. But what I mean is, do you really know what is morally right?


Ultimately, everyone will as far as we know, die at some point. Everyone will experience pain anyway. You often kill animals when they are in pain, why not do that to humans? Naturally, there are consequences to murder. But is it really that different? Well, if you experience it to be, of course it is. But if you don't (let's say you're a psychopath, incapable of emotion), who is there to tell you that it's wrong to kill people?


I myself think that killing in most cases (excluding things such as really excusable self-defense and other exceptions), is wrong. But is it... Objectively wrong? Does the universe care, is the question?


Well, that mind game is an even longer introduction to a few smaller topics that I'm soon to write about, and it might be easier to see what I'm trying to communicate, with that introduction in mind.



My main point in this post is probably going to be that people tend to judge others, based on their own experiences, and what they know to be true themselves; If you have always been brought up with the idea that homosexuals are the spawn of the devil, you tend to believe that for a very long time, unless heavily influenced by others.


And when arguing with someone that has a different sense of morality, it can be difficult to convince each other. These differences exist because of several reasons. As I said earlier, they can come to life due to culture and upbringing (Watch "The Last Samurai", for instance), but that's far from the only explanation.

Anyway, when trying to be open minded, where should you really draw the line?

You can go pretty far if you try, but at some point there tends to come a road you can't cross. As I said earlier, should this line be pain and murder? And in that case, what is worse than murder and what is not as bad? Morality is never a simple line.

And if the only way to save 1 million innocent people is to torture and kill a guy, would you do it, no matter the other consequences? Many would say yes objectively, if they're far away from the issue, but when it becomes personal, everything becomes so much more difficult.

Let's say that the person you need to torture and kill is your closest friend, and that by doing this you'll save 13 other people (let's say that he/she would kill them otherwise)? Should you do it... Would you do it? And if no, would you do it if you saved a billion people? Is there a number that is just the right amount to make it justified?

Would you do it if you would only save 5 people.. no... only 1 other fully innocent person? And are you sure that you would really follow through with what you claim now?

What if that one person would be someone else that is close to you? Someone from your family...


Think about it... Torture and kill another person, just to save one other life?


It would be an impossible choice if we remove the part about torture. You have to kill one person. You can only chose between two of your closest friends? Who would you kill?

And what if you had to choose between you and someone else? You, or that other person, has to die.

If it's a close friend, you might say you choose to die yourself. Maybe you'd go through with that, maybe you wouldn't. (In this mind game, you can have no communication with that other person, like agreeing together who should die. Should you always choose to die yourself, and why in that case?).

What if it's between you and one of your grandparents. I mean, they're already old, and don't have as much time to live. It's better if one of them dies, and not you... right? Or is it?...


And what if you had to choose between yourself dying, and a random child in a far away continent/country. In this mind game, it might be easier to think that that random child should die, especially if they come from a place where they wouldn't have as high standards of life as you anyway. Since you're too far to really feel it; to grasp it fully.


Naturally, these kinds of situations very rarely take place in reality, but what if you were really unlucky; would you know what to do?


Well, I'm sorry for really overkilling that point... It was quite unnecessary, I feel, but I'm just too into my writing to stop. When things become personal, it's much more difficult to judge them "objectively". Or am I wrong?



Anyway... Broaden the perspective on a few smaller topics was it? Alright. I hope you got what I tried to say from those mind games. It's difficult to really draw the line between right and wrong. But here are some things that many see as wrong, but I see as potential rights.

This is to say; time to go from mind games that only show my ways of reflection, to my actual opinions.



First smaller topic:


Polygamy (Marriage, between more than two people)


We'll start a bit slowly, shan't we?

So polygamy... I don't know if it's scraps of religion and culture, still remaining, or what it is... But many people seem to see polygamy through a negative lens.

I agree that it can be for worse, but I also think that there can come good from it. Hear me out.

I think that one of the reasons that people see polygamy as a bad thing, is because of the stories told about it. At least I've heard several stories about several women "belonging" to only one man, almost like property. This is also often because of religious reasons. But who is to say that three or more people can't be married happily?


I think that this can again be a ghost of one's own life. I know that at least I probably wouldn't go in for marrying more than one person (Well, it's not necessarily about the marriage part, but about being more than two people in a relationship).

I don't think that I could love two people in such a way at the same time, and probably many of you couldn't either. But is that to say that no one can? I've seen enough weird stuff to know that this definitely isn't the case. There are so many people in this world, with different lives. How is not seeing more than two people in a relationship as a good thing any worse than thinking there should be no same sex relationships?

It's all depending on context, and where you should "draw the line". And I think that this is definitely not the place to do so.

Still, I believe that polygamous relationships can be far more complicated then only two people devoted to each other. And I don't like the idea of all parts in the relationship not being happy. The most important thing when it comes to this is consent, I think. But if you have three or more people that really want to get married together, for whatever reason they might have for wanting so (it might even be for economical gain), who are you to stand in their way? Especially if you can't even imagine yourself in their situation. If your empathic skills are not good enough to understand them for that, how can you really judge them? Because you are objectively right? Sure... (No matter what it might seem like, this is not directed towards anyone in particular. I'm just trying out a more aggressive way of writing, for fun :D [might have to do with the music I'm currently listening to]).


It's funny to think about how one of these relationships would work like though.

The usual is one man, and several women, right? The women in this case don't necessarily love each other, but let's say they both love the man, and can get along. That's okay then, right? Consent.

It's interesting to picture the gender roles being switched though. I imagine it a bit like one of those movies where two or more men fight over the attention of one woman.


Anyway, have you thought of how it would have to be if there is a relationship between three people, and they all love each other? I realized a while ago that in most cases, at least two of the three would have to be bisexual, or something similar to that (pansexual or something... I don't know... I believe that these lines regulating sexuality are really poorly drawn. They're simplified far too much, don't you think? It's difficult to keep track of it all, so I won't even try anymore) for it to work smoothly.

It's also funny how I've noticed that people seem to lighten up on polygamy every time I mention. "What if it were three homosexual women wanting to get married?"
For some reason (that I can in a way understand), people seem to not look down upon polygamy as much if that specific example is brought up...


But my main point again: People tend to judge others based on themselves. Well... I guess that the way people perceive polygamy might have something to do with biology as well... I don't know...



Well, since my main points are already brought up, these other topics might turn out to be a bit shorter... Hopefully... (edit: dream on; ain't gonna happen.)

But as I mentioned earlier. These thoughts are pretty much my opinions. So if you think I'm wrong about anything, I'd love to hear why! These things are not so easy, and I'm definitely not saying that I'm objectively right. Soooo.....

Let's bring this up one level....




Incest



Yay.... Many Christians would already judge me as immoral with that last topic... What do you think about this one?

Thinking that incest is just fine is pretty much taboo, as far as I'm concerned.

Well, it's not really that I think that incest is the best possible choice. But people tend to say: "You can't help who you love". Does this not apply for family?


Sure, most people already love their family members, but usually not in the same way you'd love your significant other... (Neither do I, no matter how much suspicion might arise from my opinions. But remember, this post is supposed to be a bit taboo...)


And this I know for a fact, is rooted in biology. Most of you know this, but if people that are too closely related get children together, the DNA and such will often be far too similar for the child to become a fully healthy normal baby. Thus, I'm pretty much against close family getting children. (Just another mind game... Let's say that a weird disease would see to it that everyone's chances of getting a healthy baby together is just about the same as getting a child with someone closely related... Would that automatically make incest more acceptable? And what if the disease caused children born through incest to be healthier in average than the ones that are not... Would that make incest... Preferable?)


Many people that are not religious in the slightest still think that incest is pretty much objectively wrong... But is it really? Who is to say that... Really?

Let's put it into perspective. How would you like it if you loved someone, and that person loved you back, but society wouldn't allow you two to be together? Classic concept; like Aladdin or something. This same story, but the main characters being held from each other because of the incest would make a most interesting Disney movie...

Let's make it even easier to see. Let's say that identical twin sisters were born. As they grow up, they realize that they're both lesbian (they're almost the same person, with identical DNA, if you know your biology). What if they for a random reason would fall in love... Would you stand in between and tell them they are not allowed to do things together, and why in that case? It's not like they can get children together... They might be judged by large parts of society, but if they can handle it, why should they not live however they want together? Many religious people blame it on that it's just wrong, because God. What is your excuse?




And let's say that two children of the same mother have been separated at birth. Let's say they were both adopted. They live somewhat normal lives, and they both happen to find persons that they love that love them back... Only thing is... They happen to fall in love with each other, without themselves knowing that they're related... What is your solution there?



These questions aren't always so easy to answer. But I think that there are far worse things you can do in this world than fall in love with a family member. And I don't see why I should be given the right to judge such people, really. If that works for them, and there is a good level of consent, it's fine by me really. They aren't really ruining anything by being together. It just depends on how you look at it, don't you think?

A lot of these "wrongs" have been taught to you by society, but what do you choose to believe yourself? The majority doesn't have to be right. Neither do you or I. But I think that people still (including myself), are often all too quick to judge what doesn't really suit themselves. Don't you think?






Pedophilia



Let me hurry by saying that I don't support pedophilia. I just think that people often seem to have slightly limited observations when it comes to this topic as well.

To begin with, people are in general more protective of children, and for good reason. But sometimes, to such an extent that one's focus is directed at the wrong things.

Pedophiles, are people just like everyone else. I think that pedophiles probably have some kind of mental illness, since that behavior isn't logical, at least biologically. Not to say that "not-biological" behavior always has to do with being mentally sick. I think that in many ways, humans have risen above simple biology, even if we're still very limited by it. It is not logical to want to direct your lust towards children, if nothing else, because the children can't yet get children of their own (I mean logical from a biological perspective, as I said).


What pedophiles should do really, I think, is to seek a professional psychologist or therapist, and deal with their problem as well they can. But if the hypothetical pedophile doesn't do anything to real children, and doesn't watch child porn with real children (thus supporting the people who took the pictures/ filmed the movies), I don't have anything to really judge them for; only to pity them for. The case of course is entirely different if they actually do something to children.

But to make it clearer, again, make it more personal. Let's say that your very best friend, if you have one, while crying admits that she/he has a weird drawing towards children, would you automatically disown him or her, or help the person get help for his/her problem? Just to put it into perspective.



A thing that pissed me off, was that a person was put in court in Sweden, and almost lost, for having around 40 drawn pictures of children, with sexual context on his computer. The thing is, this person was probably Sweden's biggest manga expert. He had thousands upon thousands (probably tens of thousands, I can't recall correctly) images on his computer. And the police were going through his house (because of an entirely different case, but that is not the point). And they took his hard drive with them and examined it thoroughly, and amongst the masses they found those some drawn images of the children, and decided that they were not morally okay with them, and the case was taken into court. The case had to be taken into Supreme Court before the man was set free.


The thing is, it doesn't matter if the guy was a pedophile or not. He shouldn't be judged by law because of drawn images. That goes against freedom of expression in my opinion. If he is a pedophile, and has done something to children, that is what he should be judged for (it's unsure, but he was set free so...), not because of the drawn pictures!!! (He had not drawn them himself, but still). I mean, if I recall correctly, there is an episode of "Lotta på bråkmakargatan", where real children are jumping naked on a bed, and that's considered art, by the very same people that judged the guy (not that part about the naked children in particular is considered to be art of course, but you should get what I mean. I do think that the 'children jumping on the bed naked' thing is okay as well though, I just mentioned it for comparison). The difference is the sexual context of course, but I think that real life and drawn images is a pretty sizeable difference too. I'd rather that every pedophile watched drawn images instead of assaulting real children.

And also, I think that trying to capture people looking at these drawn pictures is a waste of resources, better used on capturing actual criminals.


Next, and also, the final topic.




Cheating



I won't say too much about this topic (edit: sorry, I kinda failed with that). I don't think that it's okay to cheat. Still, something feels slightly off to me about the concept.

Cheating has always happened, and people find it interesting, proven by how many TV-series and movies, cheating occurs in. I mean, really... Either they want to show the harsh reality with the TV-series, or they have found that people are interested in such things as relationships and how wrong they can go.

What I think however, is again, that there are many things far worse than cheating on someone. I don't think I'll cheat myself, but I'm still as virgin as a man can be, so what do I know. Well, to be honest, I think I know myself and my limitations quite well. But looking at the statistics, it seems like quite many cheat, or at least more people than you'd think. So since I lack experience, I won't promise anything yet...


But back to topic. Humans are a very sexually driven species, in general. I could explain what I mean in detail, but this post is long enough already, don't you think? The picture I've been given is that sometimes things just kind of happen. You could be drunk, or in an otherwise difficult stage of your life, and I know that things can escalate faster than you can think sometimes.

What I'm trying to say, is that sometimes cheating is punished too hardly. I realize that it shows a lack of trust in a relationship, but how much can the person that didn't cheat really love the person who cheated if they want to break up without even discussing it first? I realize that things are different for different people. Some are very emotional, and some can't deal with issues properly, so they avoid them completely. Some people become so hurt that they need therapists. But I think that it'd be better if the people in question would try to maintain the relationship still, if it's possible. Not wanting to deal with the cheater is as bad an excuse for ignoring the person who cheated even though that person tries to make things right, as not thinking clearly is for cheating in the first place. If you just can't accept that, the relationship was pretty much doomed on beforehand, I think.

A long time ago, I read a quote that I quite liked on 9gag. I don't know how true the story is, but it doesn't matter, since the words in the quote hit the right spot.

An old couple was asked how they had been able to stay together for so long, and one of them answered: "We come from a time in which when something was broken, we fixed it instead of throwing it away and getting a new one".

Well, as I said. I might lack experience when it comes to relationships, and you might call me out on that, but I still think that I have a point.

In a way, I think that people engaged in open relationships are all the more impressive. The amount of trust needed for knowing that no matter whom the person you're together with sleeps with, you'll be the one he or she returns to, and the one that person loves. This is however, only if it works for them. As in all possible relationships, open ones can have their issues too I guess. But I like honesty, and even if I would go into a relationship at some point in my life, that wouldn't mean that I don't find other people attractive, so why pretend that I don't. At this point, I think people should understand simple biology.



But still, I don't recommend cheating. There are assholes who cheat all the time as well, but my intention is of course just to bring up the other ones. But don't think that I'm blind to the more negative aspects of things just because of that :P




I think that I'm done with my ranting for now. I'm really sorry for writing such a long post again. This time my post is longer than 4000 words (edit: Actually, the full length of the post barely exceeds 5000 words! [For better or for worse...]). I guess this could be my comeback; my excuse for only writing 3 posts in July. A reason as to why I haven't written more is among other things, a simple lack of motivation. And I don't think it's all too good an idea to write if I don't have motivation to do so. Which reminds me...






Some days ago, I felt a bit sad, well not really sad, but I felt a weird kind of negative emotion. This seldom happens to me, so I as usual decided to utilize this feeling. I tried writing a song for 10 minutes or so, but that song turned out to be crap. So I tried writing a poem again instead... Well, it didn't go so well either. After just one verse I became happier only since I wrote the word gay... God I'm childish. But at least I'm happy. Apparently, I'm not much for writing poetry, I can't even maintain the same mindset for long, but here the random poem is:



A Nightly Adventure Into a Brain Full of Random

Sometimes I just feel like crying,

Like something inside me is slowly dying

I don’t know what I should do,

Thus I let my feelings rule

Still I sense that something’s coming,

Something melancholy won’t be overrunning

Tomorrow will be a whole new day,

Hopefully a lot more gay

Already I’m almost laughing,

I guess I’m easily amused

Something inside me began dancing,

The sudden sorrow was just defused

I can’t write poems seriously,

It’s probably just not really my thing

My mindsets switch mysteriously;

Sadness has no chance to win

It’s late at night, why am I still writing?

There’s nothing more I should be fighting

No feelings that should not be there,

I don’t have anything to fear

Sadly I’m not even tired,

My active mind has not yet retired

This is not what I desired,

God my brain’s randomly wired

I should really quit the rhymes,

They contain a certain limitation

I’ve already used them too many times,

And it’s difficult to maintain your original intention

But I guess they have their charm,

They can make this sound much better

Do the positives outweigh the harm?

Who cares anyway, I mean come on…

I’ll just stop while I’m ahead,

No reason to continue this loose thread

This “poem” is not deep but cheap,

I think I’ll simply go to sleep.

And last time, I promised you a more interesting song. There's a slightly more detailed description on the website though.

Scareludium (yourlisten.com)

The website has actually pretty much completely changed its layout, for the better, in my opinion (unlike youtube). It also has a few new functions. Sadly, the website still seems to lack a replay button. And there are some text issues (if you read my description of Scareludium you can see what I mean). The Images are reformatted to fit a certain square precisely (which is understandable, but doesn't work with many images), and there are a few weird spelling errors on the site. Otherwise, it's getting better.

And once again; I'm so sorry for this messed up LONG post. I hope that it was still interesting, and that you got something out of what I wrote. 

I won't keep you any longer, if you managed to read this far without getting reading cramps.

Have a very good night ;)!

Humor (Humour)

Sigh...


Once again, I haven't written in all too long. But I've actually been busy; I just don't intend to explain why here. It feels quite good to be back writing though; I can feel my motivation growing stronger!



So as you might have noticed, the topic for this post is humor. What is humor? Screw it, you already know that...

But humor is actually quite interesting, I'd say. Have you ever seen a bird laugh at a joke? I haven't. What I'm trying to say is that a sense of humor is almost unique to humans. There should be a few animal species that can appreciate very simple humor, but other than that (excluding possible aliens), humans are alone with their sense of humor.


Almost every single person has his or her own humor, no two people are alike in that. Still, many people enjoy the same things. This is probably one of the reasons as to why comedies tend to get worse scores on sites like IMDb than let's say, drama or action movies. People have very differing tastes when it comes to what is fun and what is not. A movie that someone thinks is hilarious might be extremely boring to another person.


Still, humor is a very social thing, actually, almost as social as something can be. I mean, how often do you laugh alone compared to when in company? And even when you actually laugh alone, it often has to do with social stuff in one way or another still. You might even think about sharing something funny you read or saw with a friend.


Friends... Every group of friends has a few, or sometimes many inside jokes. Jokes, unique to that group of people. Among people that you see often, the humor of the involved seems to become more similar to the others. Humor is something that you can learn.


Having fun is in general quite healthy. Often, laughing is used to cope with something negative in the past. It's a way of turning something bad into something good and amusing. I don't really see myself as racist, but I'll give you an example of what I mean. This joke mightn't be as funny if you read it alone, but if someone told it to you, especially in a large group of people, you might even laugh at how wrong it is. Ever heard of shock value?

"What is the similarity between niggers and apples?"

"Both look the most beautiful when they hang from trees..."


Shock value... And what's good about that joke in particular is that the word nigger can be replaced with any race, gender, sexual orientation or whatever you can come up with. You now know how to offend everyone!!!
That joke of course, makes light of past slavery.



Also, sometimes things are just so absurd, or otherwise so mentally insane that they become funny. I don't know if this is your type of fun, but here's an example: Hellbenders.
If you like that kind of humor, Newgrounds is a good site for finding more of it.


A text version of something so wrong (something I saw on 9gag long ago) that it to some people becomes funny:

"How do you know that your sister is on her period?"

"Your fathers cock tastes like blood..."


Again, shock value... Some people get offended beyond reasonability when hearing a joke like that, other people can't stop laughing. Incest and similar things are kinda taboo (which will probably be my next entry's topic), thus: perfect for comedy. A bit like sex related humor. Humor is a great way of getting controversial thoughts across.

Yeah, sex and shit. Many people's favorite jokes have to do with it, and I don't blame them. Sexual jokes can be funny as hell! Almost everything can be misinterpreted to something sexual, a bit like "mannen som tolkar allting sexuellt", from the marvelous fun of radio pleppo, unfortunately only fun if you know Swedish, and a little bit of Finnish.

Of course, sometimes things are funny only for the people that are not part of the joke itself. I for one, think it's good to be able to laugh at yourself, but some people don't seem to like being made fun of. It can even turn in to a type of bullying.


I've made a weird observation not that long ago. You know how people often refer to the class-clown? How they play the joker to make others like them more? I've seen something interesting concerning that. I've often been given the image through different media that entertaining others can be done to get more accepted; I've read stories about how people have tried overcoming loneliness by making other people laugh. There's actually a joke about his phenomenon. It goes like this.

| A man goes to the doctor. He says he's depressed. He says life seems harsh and cruel. He says he feels all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.
The doctor says the treatment is simple. The great clown Terrifini is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.
The man bursts into tears: "But doctor . . . I am Terrifini." |

Ironic, isn't it?

I could go on to speak about irony, but I almost forgot to make my point...

I said that I've made an interesting observation, and here it is. To me it seems like the class-clowns are among the most popular people around. People don't always laugh at them, but they often laugh with them. They are even often looked up on, for good reason! I almost wouldn't call them clowns, but more like comedians. People with much social understanding and good humor are often the cool kids in school, so to say. And it's not at all surprising, comedians make you feel better, thus: you like them! I've seen this pattern quite many times now, and it keeps on happening. It seems to work a little bit differently for women, but I might be wrong. Anyway, things work similarly for them, I'd guess. I think it's for the better though, not the worse. Having fun is pretty much my main objective in life, aside from being productive.


When  I was younger and more naive, I often got a bit mad when people made fun of me, but nowadays I even make fun of myself from time to time. I noticed that I completely by mistake have been going more towards the role of the comedian myself lately, and I think that's a good thing as well. It's easier to go into different groups of people and still be appreciated, and most importantly: it's great fun! If you do it right, you get at least as much enjoyment from being the entertainer!

And at least for me, the flow comes naturally. I never have to really try to be funny, if the right opportunity comes up, I take it and roll on, I'm sure that many of you can relate.
I'm not saying that I'm the funniest person around; I'm not. But nowadays I do make people laugh every now and then, as are probably many of you doing; humor is a social thing.

Speaking of comedians... Comedians have it as their profession to make people laugh (and often, to think!), so more often than not, they are really good at it. Hence, they know a lot of simple tricks, to more easily entertain people. These are people that have analyzed humor, and how it works, and bended it to fit their style. Some of these comedians are so unique, that they have their own type of humor; no one can adapt it, it only works for them, which I think is amazing. I've noticed that comedians tend to be good at mimicking too. Not really that surprising but, entertaining.

A trick that comedians often use, is silence. There's a certain tension that builds up until the joke reaches its climax. Comedians are in general masters of making that bubble grow, until it's so big that it's just waiting to blow, and then they throw in the punch line to burst the bubble with full power, getting a much more visible reaction than if they would have told the punch line immediately. Sometimes, the comedians play around with the rules though. I'm guessing it's a profession that lives off of creativity.

Again, these are only in Swedish, but if you haven't heard of them, I suggest you check these two comedians out!


André Wickström

Johan Glans


On youtube, you can find several of their other performances.

If you speak swedish, notice how in that Johan Glans video, the comedian makes a combination of many of his previous jokes at the end. Familiarity is an excellent tool for comedy; familiarity is the biggest ingredient needed for inside jokes to be born. Hence, only some of you readers will understand this reference... "Njaaaaaaaaaaaah....." ;)




Yeah... Speaking of sexual, absurd and humorous stuff, here's a picture that I drew...

Yeah... This is what happens when I ask you what I should draw, and you answer "I don't know, draw anything you want".

It's not a nicely drawn picture in itself (god those "eyes" are high on the face), but I thought it might be suiting considering the topic at hand.





Yes... That will be my take on humor. I haven't said everything that there is to say, nor did I intend to. Feel free to add any thoughts in the comments!







Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Music.


I actually have two songs recorded, ready to be posted here, but I'll begin today (tonight... soon to become an inside joke) by posting the worse of the two.


This one is just something that I made randomly. There isn't much creative about it. The melody is new, and some of the chord patterns, but otherwise it feels like something I've already done before, back with a little different shape. You might still like the song; it's not really bad. It could've been recorded a lot better though :D


Nothing New (yourlisten.com)





The song that I'll post next time is a lot more creative ;)!

Speaking of creativity, I recommend you go check this blog out!
The blog is written by my sister, and I must say I'm envious of her English! Not only that. Her posts mightn't be all too frequent in their schedule, but they are worth waiting for. I especially recommend her latest entry: Bittersweet Creativity.




Yup. Once again I somehow wrote over 1700 words... And to think that when it comes to school assignments, I don't even feel like writing 500 (with some exceptions)...




Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed reading this!


Have a humorous continuation!

Sentimentality

Well, I don't really have any clever remarks about the subject. I just happen to be quite sentimental myself, especially when I'm in certain moods. In my eyes, feeling sentimental is pretty close to feeling nostalgic, but in a more emotional, and almost longing way...


You see, I've recently moved, as you might know if you've read my previous post. The day we moved we had not yet taken with us all the stuff from our old house, since we're not really in a hurry. Actually, there are still a few things left at our old place at this very moment. However, my room is now, if I recall correctly, completely emptied.


The thing is, the last thing I was supposed to do in my old room was to go through some of my cabinets and see what I was prepared to throw away and what I wanted to bring with me to our new place. This happenes pretty much every time I try to go through my closets, but I found some stuff that has probably just been lying there for approximately nine years, largely untouched by anyone.

A lot of the stuff that I found was trivial in most senses. Old toys that I never play with anymore (surprise surprise), things that aren't really useful for anything at all. Still, most of the things that I found were of such nature that I refused to simply throw them away. In a way, I feel a bit like a hoarder, but to a very small degree. Even if much of the stuff that I found didn't fill any real purpose anymore, they still meant something for me, since they will forever contain links to my memories.

Even stuff like old doodles that I made long ago had someway ended up in the depths of my room, only to be refound by me only a few days ago. Naturally, I could let some of them go, to be forever forgotten by me, but I kept most of even that stuff, no matter how pettifogging they really were. If I could link what I had drawn to something else, like for example what lesson in school I had drawn the pictures in, or what had been going on around me at the time, I would have a hard time just throwing those pieces of paper away; at the same time I would leave the memories linked to those papers behind for eternity, never to be recalled again.

I know that it wouldn't really affect my life much to just throw all that stuff away, I'd probably just forget about it anyway, and even if I get to keep those small memories, what can I really use them for? I don't know, I just felt very sentimental about all old things that I found. I remebered how I used to use some of the stuff on a daily basis, even though I now hadn't even laid eyes upon them in years.


The same feeling of sentimentality is there for the entire house as well. I took closer to one hundred pictures of the inside of the house, in order to not forget what it looked like, even if that will never be of any real use. I'm not sure whether you can relate, but I have a hard time letting thigs linked to memories disappear. I actually remember a lot of stuff; in a way, objects work like materializations of memories, I guess.


You know how old people often can seem lost in the past when they look at old pictures? The whole thing is quite similar to that. I mean, I'm sure that even you can get a bit nostlgic over objects or images linking to memories or even feelings. Otherwise, you are missing out on something that I hold important. In general, people easily get nostalgic over music that they used to hear long ago, and I know that that is from time to time true for me as well.


Just remember to embrace your memories, so that they don't vanish without a good reason.












I could probably write much more on the subject, but I doubt that'd be all that interesting, besides, it's getting late.

Thus, I'll go over to the music section of this entry.


I've had a few ideas for songs lately, but nothing that I really felt I should put a lot of effort to, but I still managed to concoct something slightly interesting.


The orignal idea was to use a strerotypical, well, base pattern I guess, but combine it with a type of melody seldomly used together with that kind of left hand movement. I'd say that it worked at first, but after half a minute of listening material, I grew bored of that one pattern, so I switched to another one. All in all, there are some rhytmical and melodical changes in this composition. This is mostly because I just somewhat randomly threw in the last minute of music today. I'm sorry if the song sounds weird because of this, but hey! At least it shouldn't be too repetitive.

Because of the sound and the few changes is the song, I gave it a weird name as well.


Jumpy








Well, that should be all for now.


Have a goodnight, and goodbye until you return to read one of my future entries.

Moving

Oh God...

One entire Month of my vacation has already passed, and this is only my fourth post since the start of it O.o...

Well, I guess that I've been busy and all, but I've had so much planned for this summer, yet I've accomplished so little of it. But, as much as I would love to, I'm not here to whine and complain about my actually pretty enjoyable summer vacation. Thus, I'll try to actually stick to the subject...

I can tell that this isn't going to be one of those long (well, my long) and deep entries, so if you don't feel like reading a lot right now, you can relish that fact. As you can see, the title for this post is "Moving". If I would feel like writing something deep and intriguing, I can picture myself writing about "moving on" or something like that. However, that is not the case this time -_-

It just so happens that once again, I have moved from a house to another.

It's not like I'd have moved to another town or anything of such nature, just a bit closer to the centre of the city (more like to the center of the city, actually...).

I've actually moved quite an amount of times before. If I recall correctly, I've changed locations for a longer time period 6-7 times, depending on if you count a temporary place where we spent a few months or so waiting for another place to finish being built. 

But a thing that you have to bring to the equation though, is that my mom and dad don't live together, meaning that at any given time I will have two places to potentially move from (yeah, I'm still living with my parents, and I don't really have any good reasons to quit doing so in quite some time yet)... When I do though, does that mean that I'll move two times at once? Since I'll stop living in (aka. sleeping in, in this instance) two places at the same time? I guess not... After all, I'll just move to one new place...

Aside from that sidenote (bad wordplay, I'm tired you see)... This time, it was my dad that moved to a new place. I hadn't thought about it earlier, but funny thing is that the place we just moved from is the place where I had lived for the longest amount of time! Well, technically I only stayed there every second week, but I think my claim still holds (stands? I don't really care about phrasing it right right now...).

What surprised me is how small a thing I perceived the moving as... almost... casual.

I've known about it for a long time of course, but it still came so suddenly (It sounds like I'm describing the death of a cancer patient, doesn't it?). One week, we just moved, and that was that. I didn't really have any positive or negative feelings surrounding it. It just happened. The place I moved from was nice, and the place I moved to is nice. Of course, the distance to some places will be longer now, and shorter to others.

For instance, it'll now only take two minutes or so to walk between my mom and my dad, and the distance to school (whenever it comes back to haunt me) is a lot shorter as well. But the distances to some of my friends are longer... Shouldn't matter for too long though... I should get my drivers license before the start of school so...

Anyway, I could talk about how we moved different stuff and how the new house is and such things, but I'll show you some pictures instead since the other option sounds kinda boring to me...

Well, I can't say I did a good job of optimizing this picture, but I cropped it a bit so that it doesn't look completely horrible. The lighting when taking this picture with my phone should have been done so much better though...

It's not my best drawing... Something I made in school at art class (don't get me wrong, I'm not good at drawing, but even I can see the flaws in this one... Not that I tried making it realistic or anything... You can tell that I'm tired by that I'm speaking like this btw... I don't even know why I'm tired... Meh...)

This drawing was made quite some time ago. We were supposed to photograph someplace in Vasa, that we didn't think looked good, and change it into something nicer. Well, here's the picture that I changed.

Well, you can still kinda see that It's the same place. The thing is though... This just so happens to be the very same place that I moved into a couple of days ago... It can be funny how things unfold sometimes.

This is taken from a different angle, but the house is pretty much complete now.

So yeah, It looks much better than in the picture above the above picture.

Another funny thing... You know my name is Alexander right? Well, guess what the name of the street that the house is located on is... It's Alexander's Alley... So after some years I can go convincing everyone that the "alley" (it doesn't really look like your typical alleyway but...) is named after me. I could say that like... There was a lottery among the people that moved into the newly built building (it takes up the entire alley, so...). The point of the lottery was naturally to see whom to name the alley after. And I could simply say that I happened to win. And believe me (I've got experience), quite many people would believe me, or at least be unsure of whether I'm telling the truth or not.

Well, this post isn't really going anywhere, So I'll show a couple (double it) more pictures and end it there.

Here are two pictures from how it looked in my (old) room some days ago...

I don't think that you necessarily have any real interest of seeing these pictures, but I find pictures pleasing to watch. If nothing else, see them as a short, pleasant brake from reading my tired writings.

Now: Two pictures from my (new) room!

I've actually made some improvements since taking the photos, but oh well.

Yupp. These are quite fascinating pictures of the habitat of a random teenager from Finland. A must see for everyone!

No but seriously... I should stop. 

These pictures can compensate for the lack of music in this post. I've naturally made a few smaller compositions, but nothing complete or long... I think I'll have one or more for next time though :D

(I've got a few weird ideas). I'm also trying to re-learn this: Those Who Fight

Actually I've only got like half a minute left, and I think that I can play it better than ever now! I think that this is the most difficult piece that I actually can play...

Anyway...

Keep on having good times!

Strange Things can Happen to Avarage People...

Ok, so I'm a bit unsure about how to write this post, let's just say that it won't turn out like my posts usually do...

You see, yesterday, I experienced what was probably the weirdest thing in my life so far, and it might stay that way for a long time. I'm going to tell you what happened, and it's quite something actually, I mean, it still feels unreal today, not to talk about when I actually lived through it. The story might start a little slow, but you need to grasp the context to really realize how weird it was. Hear me out, I'm quite sure that you'll be intrigued by what I'm about to tell you...


So, as you might know, I live in this somewhat small (compared to places in other countries) town named Vasa, located in Finland. I'm currently trying to get my drivers license, and yesterday I was driving around the centre of the city, with my teacher beside me of course. This isn't when things started getting weird, but after my lesson, I stayed in the centrum for a while. Or rather, that's what I planned to do, however I ended up staying there for much longer than I had intended to do. One could say I ended up meeting someone... a bit different.

As you might also know, I have a sweet tooth. After my lesson in driving, I went to this shop next to the, well, plaza, i guess you could say. It doesn't really matter, but the store is named Citymarket. So after I had bought some candy for myself (Lumi Pantteri, I love those), I exited the store like I normally would.

I hadn't really paid any attention to it earlier, but the marketplace was unusually empty this day. This was probably because it was around 2 o'clock, and not everyone is on vacation yet. Now is when things began getting weirder and unusual, for me.

We still have quite an amount of, well, beggars, in Vasa. Usually I don't have much contact with them, except for maybe giving them a coin or two. However, as I walked out of the store, holding my bag of candy, I heard a voice right next to me. It took me a moment to realize that what the voice said was directed to me. You understand, in the centre of Vasa, as in many other cities, there are a few regular drunkards that usually shout at everyone whom comes close to them, I'm sure you've experienced this as well.

The thing is, the man that told me "Hei, tuus tänne vähä!" (A call for me to approach the person) didn't actually sound that drunk at all. Usually I just ignore these people, but I was in a weird mindset at the moment, and surprising even myself I actually went closer to the man. Just as you could forsee, this man wanted me to give him some money. If I surprised myself earlier, that was nothing compared to what I did now!

Since I for once had a bit of free time, I had this interesting idea cross my mind. I thought that if I gave the man some money he would probably just spend it on alcohol anyway, which I thought would be quite the waste of my money. Not only that, but I don't really get that good a feeling after giving seemingly homeless people money anyway; I like to experience the results of what I do. So as I said, I surprised myself by saying something along the lines with:

"No, I will not give you any of my money, but if you want to, I'll gladly buy you a meal".
Can you imagine me actually doing this? I know I can be spontaneous, but I didn't expect to do something like that.

Anyway, I wasn't the only person to be surprised by this, for so was the man that was asking me for money. Well, I usually suck at remembering details, but I'll give you some kind of a description of the man. He had one of these leather jackets, and it wasn't that torn actually. He didn't wear any gloves, but since it was a bit odd I remeber that he had a sort of hat on his head that most people only wear during winter, and even though the wind might have been blowing a little (I can't recall for sure), I know that it was not cold. Aside from that he was probably in his late forties, and had some silver-grayish hair that barely showed itself from underneath his headwear.

But after a couple of seconds of awkward staring the man said that he'd happily take me up on my offer, but still maintaining that surprised stare he asked where I would bring him to buy food. I had no intention of actually bringing the man to my actual home, and semi chocked from my own actions I just threw "In McDonald's" out of me. You see, there's a McDonald's basically next to where we were, which isn't that surprising considering it's one of the easiest places to lure customers.

So I keep calling this homeless person "the man", but I actually got to know his name (we'll get to that in time), but I don't feel right telling his real name here, so let's just call him "Markko" for now (still keeping a Finnish name, naturally).

As awkward as it was, I walked next to him all the way to our destination. Luckily there were no people that I knew that happened to cross paths with us right then. There was practically no waiting line by the counter, so I told Markko that he could order whatever he wanted, provided the cost would stay below 10 €. He didn't seem like he intended to complain about that. He ended up ordering a Big Mac, large fries, a coke and a McFlurry.


We sat down by an empty table in the corner of the "restaurant". Markko ate like he hadn't eaten for days, and for a while it almost looked like he was about to cry from joy, which I remember made me feel a bit weird inside. I'm not used to doing anything like this, so everything felt a bit unreal for me, but it was about to get even stranger.

When Markko had finished gulping down everything (I had myself ordered a strawberry milkshake to drink while waiting for him to finish eating, and when I had finished drinking that up, I began eating some of my lumi pantteri), including his McFlurry, I was about to leave. However, when the weird man noticed this, he asked me not to go yet. He said that he was extremely grateful, and that he never imagined that someone my age would be so responsible as to do something like this (he probably thought that I was younger than I am, since quite many adults seem to do so).

He didn't want me to leave just yet, since he had one last favor to ask. He said that I was free to go if I wanted to, but he said that he would be very happy to tell me his story, since he hadn't had a real discussion with anyone for a long time. I felt at unease, but I didn't feel like betraying the mans expectations after going this far.


He ended up telling me his name, but I'll continue to call him Markko. He told me a few things about his childhood, and I don't know if I imagined it, since I'm not necessarily that good at reading people, but it seemed like a certain glow was awakend in Markkos eyes as he talked about his past. Yet, after only a few minutes of me doing nothing but listening to him, his expression darkened.


He began talking about his youth. He didn't tell me exactly how old he was then, nor how old he is now, but because of the way he spoke I'd guess that he was around 15-16 when something very dark happened in his life. Although he was underaged, he and his few friends quite often did some dringking, which is nothing unusual I guess. But Markko told me that he had together with his comrades found a completely abandoned house; an old treehouse. I don't know exactly where this house of his is (or possibly was) located, but he said that he together with his friends began calling it "känni kämppä" (a place to get drunk basically).

It had apparently been possible to climb in through one of the windows that were no more. I don't really see the point in it, but Markko said that they sometimes used to go inside of the house just to drink and spend some time together (well, of course I see the point, just not why they would have to do all this inside of the abandoned house). If I understood correctly, all this took place sometime in the middle of the eighties.


Anyway, Markko's story went on to describe how he had been together with this girl for quite a while. But sadly, he had somehow found out that she had been cheating on him (yes, it does really happen, which I'm sure you already were aware of).

I'm not sure about the details, but the thing is, Markko did despite his age get hold of quite an amount of beer. And during the night that he realized what his girlfriend had done, he drank it up, alone, somewhere in the city. You might be able to imagine how I began to feel while he was telling this story. A hint: not that good... I had at this point almost unconsciously eaten up half om the candy that I had bought.


Markko said that for some reason it had crossed his mind to go to the abandoned house he had mentioned earlier. I don't know whterher Markko is a good storyteller or not, the details got a bit messed up, but I'll tell you that I was listening as intensly as ever. Markko had probably been speaking nonstop for about half an hour already!

Markko had arrived at his intended location, even though he was kind of drunk. He told me that he could recall having trouble getting in via the window, in the state that he was, but he had eventually succeded. Now we are getting to the really freaky part, and I'm serious about this. I'm not even sure if I should tell this, but I've explained this far so...


The still young, drunk, Markko had ventured into a room in the house where he hadn't been before. At this point I was becoming sceptic of this story, and my heart was beating double it's normal speed all the time while Markko was telling me this. You see, he said that he had found a cellar-plate under one of the carpets in the room (I have no idea why he was looking under the carpet to begin with). I could feel that the atmosphere around me and Markko was becoming a bit tense, and I'm surprised no one else in McDonald's seemed to pay any attention to us.



Anyhow, Markko continued his story by telling me how he had opened the cellar entrance, that hadn't been locked in any way. He told me that there had been some steep, half rotten stairs leading down into the cellar, and drunk as he was, he had fallen while trying to climb down.


He hadn't hurt himself that badly, but he said that even in his drunken state of mind he began to get slightly scared, and he told me that he had been able to smell some kind of a rotten stench. There had been but one, small window allowing for a bit of light from the outside to enter (this must have taken place during summer, since I don't think Markko would've been able to see anything at all otherwise). Now, this is the really bad part of the story, and I'm still not sure whether Markko was trying to fool me, gullable as I might be...


Markko had been itching his eye (in the past, not in MC), and he was surpised to notice that there was some kind of a liquid that stuck from his hand to his face. He realized that it was blood, and at frist he had thought that it had been his own, from the fall. I'm guessing Markko had begun becoming a bit clearer in his thoughts, but you never know.


As I said, he only thought that it was his own blood, but he could see that he had no wounds on his hands, or anywhere else for the matter.

Well, there was the stench, the blood, and other things that seemed odd. Scared as he was, Markko had still decided to investigate, so he had explored the cellar a bit, and as far as I could understand, It wasn't that big.
That's why it didn't take long before he found the source of the blood.

For drammatic effect, I'll ask you to scroll down for the shocking revalation...









































































Nah... I'm just messing with ya'll.

I made this entire story up.













I don't know... I'm not necessarily that good a storyteller. I just thought it might be funny to write this kind of a pointless blog entry for once, especially since I talked about lying in my previous post. Originally I actually intended to exaggerate the story even more, about how the never existing "Markko" found some corpse or something, and how he buried it out of fear of other people believeing that he was the culprit behind the obvious murder case. Then he would go on to get depressed and having traumas, always living with this secret, kept inside his mind, that would be responsible for messing up his life. He would fail in work life, and be unable to sleep at night, ultimately leading to his nowaday state. Meh...

But I'm waaaay to tired to do that right now... And at some point people would realize that I am but bullshitting, as you might've done at some point already. Mind telling me, was the story convincing otherwise?
It's hard to give feedback to oneself.