Friday, February 13, 2015

Cruising Towards Death

Death. An enemy when healthy and happy; a friend when sad and in pain.

Reminds me of a riddle I encountered recently:

"What kills the bad ones and the sad ones, tightens to fit so one size fits all?"

Answer (the text is the same color as the background):

A noose...

I have thought of many subjects to write about on this blog, but I always seem to forget them when I'm actually here, writing. So I chose something simple, yet complicated. Death.
It awaits us all, sooner or later. Most people prefer later. As do I.
That said, some people prefer sooner despite having much to live for. That is, however, a subject for another night.

The thing about death, is that you experience it SO many times third and second hand, before you actually experience it first hand. A few people even experience medical death for a little while, but still survive. Some people become braindead far before they actually die. That's not really the entire meaning of death though. Death is not all about you not experiencing anything anymore. Sure, that's part of it. Not experiencing anything is a part of deep sleep too. Are you dead when you're experiencing dreamless sleep? No.

Death is a name for the impact you leave on others by going away. You're not really there to experience more than the very first effects of your death, after that... You're dead to the world.
It's the people that are left behind that will truly experience your death; notice the difference when you're gone.

Which death is the worst? When someone you know and love dies, or when you die yourself? I guess that can depend on the person. Still, when it comes to your own death, the fear of death is much worse than the death itself. Not constantly, of course. Only in the moments when you for some reason manage to convince yourself that you might die soon.
I don't say this based on my own experience. I've taken several risks that could've lead my death, but luckily haven't. I have yet to experience the fear of my own death, as it's such a distant feeling. Probably because it's so unrealistic, unless I get some weird disease.
No, what I mean is... Some people who actually stand a chance of dying in the near future can become so terrified of the thought that they become incpable of doing much anything at all. Some cry, some stay silent.
That is, until acceptance strikes in. When the realization has struck and has had some time to cool down, people tend to become calmer. I'd much prefer to enter my eventual death, content and without regrets, than live 10 years longer and be paralyzed by fear and disarray when it's actually happening. Well, it depends on the context of course. Point being, I'd rather die with peace in heart.

But as I said. My own death doesn't worry me that much at the moment. The thing is this.
All of my grandparents are still alive, for which I am incredibly grateful, and I tend to spend a lot of time with them too. Problem is, they aren't getting younger, nor healthier. Who knows, maybe they'll keep on living for quite a while still! But eventually, one of them will - so to say - leave. And after a while, another will too, and so on. It's quite the depressing thought, but it's the harsh truth.
I honestly don't know how I will handle it when concept becomes reality. While I was very young, my grandparent's parents passed away. At the time I was so young that I couldn't have possibly understood death the way I do now, and I still didn't take it well.  Now I'm slightly older, and dare I say somewhat wiser as well. There are still lessons for me to learn regarding death, but let's just say that if I could pay not to go to those specific classes, I'd pay quite a lot.

Even worse to think about is the eventual death of one's parents. Luckily, there's probably more than double that of my current lifetime still until any of them passes away. But what if an accident would happen? I'd loose my sight on life and become blind. I am far from independent at the moment, but that would be the least of my worries. I have no idea what I would do if any such thing would happen, so I guess I do what most people do, and try not to worry about such distinct possibilities. Still, the possibilities do exist.

Either way, it's not a fun thing (except in comedy, where it can indeed fun).
I love humor. It's a force that makes the best out of the worst of things, what could be better than that?

I could expand upon the subject of death by lots and lots (as I'm sure you could figure out by reading some of my older posts), but I won't this night. I am back; I can feel it. But I need to warm up to writing longer texts about deeper subjects again.
For now, let us get a lighter tone going ;)

Some time ago, I was on a cruise. 3€/person for the cabin. Good times. I won't write much about that, as it'd probably be boring, but I thought I could share some pictures, as they probably tell just as much as my words could.

Disclaimer: that creepy smile was naturally only for comedic effect...

(P.S. For those of you with whom I enjoyed the cruise, I'd like to have a word: "yoghurt").

So yeah. As you can clearly see, the cruise was most enjoyable ;)

Oh, and here comes the usual self advertisement.
I've made a few small games in the past, one of which even won fourth place in a competition. Well, I just had a new idea which I think will be simple to pull off, and pretty enjoyable to play. I won't spoil what the game is going to be like, but I already created the background music for it. It's an ambient piece, which even features a few homemade samples, such as crystal glasses and our vacuum cleaner... Recorded with a laptop's microphone... Nonetheless, some magical music engineering, and the results were great!

I'd love it if you'd take a listen to the track here. Thanks!

Also, I don't know if you've noticed, but I added a "my latest upload" panel at the very top of my blog, so if you ever read my blog while not listening to anything, but would want to listen to something, there's always that option :p

I think this is all for now. Thanks for reading my random ramblings.

Hope to cya 'round :D


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